"Dad Jokes"

[classwife]

How much space does fungi need to grow ?








As mushroom as it needs !

 

[ShowMeTwice]

Why do fathers take an extra pair of socks when they go golfing?





In case they get a hole in one!

 

[bobsyeruncle]

I was reading a book on helium. I couldn’t put it down....

 

[MLEJ]

Why are basketball courts always wet?



Everyone dribbles on them.



(Dad jokes can be grandma jokes, too, y'know)

 

[ShowMeTwice]

What do you call someone with no body and no nose?




Nobody knows.

 

[MLEJ]

i only know 25 letter of the alphabet


i don't know 'y'




(Funny & educational. i got this, grandpa.)

 

[DavidOck]

What do you call a one legged woman?

Spoiler: Uhhh

Eileen

 

[bobsyeruncle]

What is the quickest way to determine the sex of a chromosome?

Pull down its genes.

 

[classwife]

What did the ocean say to the beach?




Nothing, it just waved

 

[bobsyeruncle]

How do you cut the sea in half?

With a sea-saw.

 

[smacuser]

My wife is furious at our next door neighbor who sunbathes topless in her backyard. Personally, I’m on the fence.​

 

[ShowMeTwice]

What concert costs just 45 cents?




50 Cent featuring Nickelback!

 

[MLEJ]

My wife is furious at our next door neighbor who sunbathes topless in her backyard. Personally, I’m on the fence.​

Definitely NOT a dad joke.

Funny, though.

 

[SilverBear]

What do you call a one legged woman?

Spoiler: Uhhh

Eileen

What do you call a one legged woman in Japan?

Spoiler

Irene

 

[SilverBear]

Would all "missing limb" jokes qualify here?
Not sure where the line between "lounge"
and "outside" may cross. 'Cuz I have a fave!

 

[SilverBear]

Would all "missing limb" jokes qualify here?
Not sure where the line between "lounge"
and "outside" may cross. 'Cuz I have a fave!

Never mind. It's absolutely NOT a "dad joke"...
had to Google it. Ignore me.

 

[ShowMeTwice]

When does a joke become a Dad joke?




When it becomes apparent!

 

[SilverBear]

Never mind. It's absolutely NOT a "dad joke"...
had to Google it. Ignore me.

You may PM me for the joke.

 

[bobsyeruncle]

Why is it that if you donate a kidney, people love you. But if you donate five kidneys, they call the police.

 

[ShowMeTwice]

I ordered a chicken and an egg from Amazon.




I'll let you know...