Valley View Vapes - Win a FREE Polypropylene Tank - Weekly Contest
- Thread starter RayN
- Start date
- th_trl_thread_readers 0
- Status
1) I was at a party my friend's were having.The male having the party realized they were not going to have enough liquor for the party to last very long and also knew that a lot of the people there were not invited.So he announces to the crowd,Will the people here for the bride's side please rise.20 people stood up.Then he said will the people here for the groom please rise.25 people stood up.Then he said, Will all the people standing to leave please.This is a birthday party.
1
What's the difference between chopped beef and pea soup?
Everyone can chop beef, but not everyone can pea soup!
What's the difference between chopped beef and pea soup?
Everyone can chop beef, but not everyone can pea soup!
1)
These are things people actually said in court, word for word
Q: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
A: Yes.
Q: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
A: I forget.
Q: You forget. Can you give us an example of something that youve forgotten?
These are things people actually said in court, word for word
Q: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
A: Yes.
Q: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
A: I forget.
Q: You forget. Can you give us an example of something that youve forgotten?
1. I feel sorry for people who don’t drink or do drugs. Because someday they’re going to be in a hospital bed dying, and they won’t know why.
R. Foxx
R. Foxx
1 After the hurricane idiots arrive.
One of my other stores have NO power( no refrigeration) customer comes up to employee and says "listen we know you have no power so you don't have ice but we don't need ICE. We need ice CUBES....
One of my other stores have NO power( no refrigeration) customer comes up to employee and says "listen we know you have no power so you don't have ice but we don't need ICE. We need ice CUBES....
2)
These are things people actually said in court, word for word.
Q: How old is your son, the one living with you.
A: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I cant remember which.
Q: How long has he lived with you?
A: Forty-five years
(I hope these are counted as jokes, because I find them hilarious!)
These are things people actually said in court, word for word.
Q: How old is your son, the one living with you.
A: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I cant remember which.
Q: How long has he lived with you?
A: Forty-five years
(I hope these are counted as jokes, because I find them hilarious!)
I am sure they are LH. I like them as well.
2. I just filled out my income tax forms. Who says you can't get killed by a blank?
M. berle
Tappytalkin' on my gNex
2. I just filled out my income tax forms. Who says you can't get killed by a blank?
M. berle
Tappytalkin' on my gNex
3)
These are things people actually said in court, word for word.
Q: And where was the location of the accident?
A: Approximately milepost 499.
Q: And where is milepost 499?
A: Probably between milepost 498 and 500.
These are things people actually said in court, word for word.
Q: And where was the location of the accident?
A: Approximately milepost 499.
Q: And where is milepost 499?
A: Probably between milepost 498 and 500.
1
Boyfriend: Do you thing I'm a perfect idiot?.
Girlfriend: No, you're certainly not perfect.
Boyfriend: Do you thing I'm a perfect idiot?.
Girlfriend: No, you're certainly not perfect.
4)
These are things people actually said in court, word for word.
Q: Did you blow your horn or anything?
A: After the accident?
Q: Before the accident.
A: Sure, I played for ten years. I even went to school for it.
These are things people actually said in court, word for word.
Q: Did you blow your horn or anything?
A: After the accident?
Q: Before the accident.
A: Sure, I played for ten years. I even went to school for it.
1
Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
2
A french fry walks into the bar and says to the bartender "Hay , could I get a beer please"
The bartender looks at him, shaking his head and says, "No, we don't serve food here"
GROAN!!
A french fry walks into the bar and says to the bartender "Hay , could I get a beer please"
The bartender looks at him, shaking his head and says, "No, we don't serve food here"
GROAN!!
3. Make no mistake about why these babies are here - they are here to replace us.
J. seinfeld
Tappytalkin' on my gNex
J. seinfeld
Tappytalkin' on my gNex
Lettuce, those are hilarious!
1. Drunk Driving?
Note: This isn't funny, from one point of view, but then, from another...
A Highway Patrolman waited outside a popular bar, hoping for a bust. At closing time everyone come out and he spotted his potential quarry. The man was so obviously inebriated that he could barely walk. He stumbled around the parking lot for a few minutes, looking for his car.
After trying his keys on five other cars, he finally found his own vehicle. He sat in the car a good ten minutes, as the other patrons left. He turned his lights on, then off, wipers on, then off. He started to pull forward into the grass, then stopped.
Finally, when he was the last car, he pulled out onto the road and started to drive away. The patrolman, waiting for this, turned on his lights and pulled the man over. He administered the breathalyzer test, and to his great surprise, the man blew a 0.00. The patrolman was dumbfounded. "This equipment must be broken!" he exclaimed.
"I doubt it," said the man, "tonight I am the designated decoy!"
1. Drunk Driving?
Note: This isn't funny, from one point of view, but then, from another...
A Highway Patrolman waited outside a popular bar, hoping for a bust. At closing time everyone come out and he spotted his potential quarry. The man was so obviously inebriated that he could barely walk. He stumbled around the parking lot for a few minutes, looking for his car.
After trying his keys on five other cars, he finally found his own vehicle. He sat in the car a good ten minutes, as the other patrons left. He turned his lights on, then off, wipers on, then off. He started to pull forward into the grass, then stopped.
Finally, when he was the last car, he pulled out onto the road and started to drive away. The patrolman, waiting for this, turned on his lights and pulled the man over. He administered the breathalyzer test, and to his great surprise, the man blew a 0.00. The patrolman was dumbfounded. "This equipment must be broken!" he exclaimed.
"I doubt it," said the man, "tonight I am the designated decoy!"
- Status
Similar threads
- Locked
- Locked
- Locked
