How do I choose a church?

[angelique510]

I would like to ask my friends in this small ECF group for their opinions and their prayers for some Divinely inspired direction. I recently moved to my new home and feel compelled to find a church home here. I didn't before now, because I knew that I was going to be moving soon. I can't use that excuse anymore.

I have been a Christian for about five years now. I believe in a literal interpretation of the bible, I am traditionalist, a pre-melinialist, not a Calvinist or Charismatic, and very conservative. My favorite teachers on the subject of faith are C.S. Lewis (of course,) Jesse DuPlantis, Perry Stone, and Jack Van Impe (I am fascinated with eschatology.) One of my favorite books ever is An Excellent Wife by Margaret Peace, which is about a woman's role in a traditional patriarchal marriage. The closest match to my beliefs, denomination-wise, is Independent Baptist - at least as far as my research has produced.

But I understand that not everyone believes the same as I do. I refuse to condemn anyone for being on a different place in their personal spiritual path and doing what they believe God wants them to do. Among fundamentalist Christians, I see a lot of intolerance and an attitude of "My religion is the only right one and you are evil and wrong if you do not believe what I believe." My faith is the most correct one I have been able to find, based on what God has told me. But I have no right to condemn anyone else for their faith. I can only tell people what I have learned, and be a good example.

For the thirty plus years prior to a "road to Damascus" experience, I was eclectic pagan, for lack of a better description. I studied Wicca and its variants, Theosophy, Hinduism, Catholicism, Gnosticism, just to name a few. I was a member of a Unitarian Universalist church in Ohio and was very active in the C.U.U.P.s branch, occasionally officiating rituals myself. I liked that UUs accept that faith comes in different forms to different people. I enjoyed the social and family orientation of the group.

But I did not like the focus on liberal politics and "social justice" that UU churches have. I cannot be comfortable in that political environment because of my personal views - conservatives are not well received. UUs also refuse to take a position on anything. It brings to mind the old saying "If you don't stand for something, you will fall for anything." If there is no right or wrong answer to anything, how can they assist me in finding the right way on my path?

So that is my quandary. I am strongly convicted that both have part of what is right, and both have parts that are wrong. I am pretty sure spending every other week at one, and every other week at the other is not the answer. And finding a church that is somewhere between the two sounds too much like Revelations 3:15&16 "I know your deeds, that you are neither cold nor hot. I wish you were either one or the other! So, because you are lukewarm—neither hot nor cold—I am about to spit you out of my mouth."

What do you think? I am putting this in God's hands and He will point me in the right direction. He is telling me to use the logical brain that He gave me. I think that He may speak to me through my friends. Just typing this all out is helpful too.

Thank you for reading this and I welcome any replies.

Be well,
~A

 

[beckah54]

That is an interesting question. Thinking back, I found my church through a family member.

After attending services for a few months and checking out another church during the same period of time, I landed in a Baptist church. I attended another denomination growing up but questioned some of their beliefs and was looking for a church that put God first, was Bible based and offered a lot of different types of ministries so I could get involved in an area that I felt drawn to.

Since you have recently moved, maybe a neighbor or a someone from work could recommend a few churches for you to visit. I think the only way you will find one that feels like home is to visit different ones until you find a good fit.

Good luck....I know I love my church family and they are one of the reasons I felt so at home when I first attended. Very welcoming and loving people. I hope you find one that clicks for you.

 

[LisaLisa]

I would open up the local phone book, and start calling around to the local baptist churches, since you think that's the closest thing to what you believe, I'd start with baptist.

Ask to speak with the pastor, if he isn't available, ask for a call back. Talk to him on the phone, ask what their church is all about, check out their website if they have one. Call around to several, pick the best ones based on what you found out, and start to visit them in person.

There is no time frame, so just take your time and visit and revisit as many and as many times as you like. You'll find the right one and all the while, pray about it too.

 

[angelique510]

The one I went to last Sunday didn't feel right to me. I found one that is very close to home. I looked them up online and spent hours on their website - doctrinally everything seems right and I listened to a few sermons. I went there Wednesday night, and everybody greeted me like an old friend. I'm going back this Sunday and the kids are actually excited about going

~A

 

[NuGalicia]

I know you'll find where you 'fit'.

One time I learned I 'fit' as the only white guy in an all black church. At the same time, I didn't feel I 'fit' in a really great mexican church. Sometimes I think we're meant to be in a certain group for awhile during our growth, then we graduate to another level & it's time to go elsewhere.

Personally, I decided to submit to specific leadership. That's huge for many Americans. We don't submit to anyone, often rebeling against God's chosen leaders. You can advance farther in 5 minutes with a godly leader than you can in 20 years jumping between churches. As you stated, finding where they are is the key.

You mentioned you like Jesse Duplantis. He speaks in any type of church, and he's one of my favorites too. I used to think doctrine was the key distinction, but now I'm convinced conscience is. In Jn. 5:39-40 Jesus said people search scriptures and still miss the point.

You can't hide love. It'll be obvious, as will counterfeits. For example your Sunday church compared to your Wednesday night church.

You'll find the place, the people. Look for love.

 

[thewomenfolk]

The church I used to attend would search out good churches in the areas where people were moving to, so that made things a little easier. Then the people who were moving could made sure for themselves that those churches were doctrinally sound, and choose from among them the one they wanted.

Baptist churches are usually doctrinally sound, but beware the Calvinism that's perniciously creeping into many of the Southern Baptist churches and their headquarters (Southern Baptist Convention). The mission of Calvinist leaders tends less toward taking the gospel into the world and more toward taking over already established churches. I've seen them split up and even utterly destroy existing churches in my community.

I now attend an Independent Baptist church and although I don't agree with their idea of giving the Lord's Supper to member's only, their gospel doctrines are sound. Wouldn't it be great if we could find a church like 'the church in Philadelphia' (Rev 3:7-13)?

I have a friend who won't attend church at all because none of them please her 100% of the time. I tend to think she'd just like to have Sundays off. But it's kind of sad to think she won't have a church in which to be married or buried or make friends.

I wouldn't hesitate to call the pastors of local churches and ask them for answers to my key questions. I think that's the only way for you to be sure the church is right for you.

 

[NuGalicia]

...Wouldn't it be great if we could find a church like 'the church in Philadelphia' (Rev 3:7-13)?

I have a friend who won't attend church at all because none of them please her 100% of the time...

I agree with you that church won't always 'please' us. Even love in the home is hard work sometimes.

Also, I'm convinced there are many churches like 'Philadelphia', in many denominations (Jn 10:16).

It's important to remember God judges our conscience, not our doctrines (Ro 14:14). As we grow, conscience is perfected (Hb 5:14) and our doctrines often change as a result.

Generally speaking, doctrines divide while love unites. We all love people we disagree with.

 

[LisaLisa]

I agree with you that church won't always 'please' us. Even love in the home is hard work sometimes.

Also, I'm convinced there are many churches like 'Philadelphia', in many denominations (Jn 10:16).

It's important to remember God judges our conscience, not our doctrines (Ro 14:14). As we grow, conscience is perfected (Hb 5:14) and our doctrines often change as a result.

Generally speaking, doctrines divide while love unites. We all love people we disagree with.

This is so true!