"GAY PRIDE" Month Awareness Contest - Part 2

[Bejeebus]

What “Gay Pride” Means To Me

It means so much in so many ways. I will start by saying that it means so many - too many - who have been murdered because they are gay have not died in vain! People got behind the movement all over the country when deaths occurred because of hatred.

In Bangor Maine a man named Charlie O. Howard was murdered on July 7, 1984. He was an 'out' gay man walking at night in Bangor. He was chased by three teenage boys, who caught up with him on a bridge and threw him into the Kenduskeag Stream - he screamed that he could not swim and was ignored. He drowned. It galvanized the community in Maine and probably elsewhere. Charlie was just one.

Every time one of these outrages occurred the community where it happened was forced to face its homophobia. Every time one of us was murdered we, as a community, became more resolved to push through the wall of hatred a little further. People 'came out' either as Gay/Lesbian, or 'out'-raged at their straight community for not having better programs for raising awareness. Ignorance was faced head on and we started to make the straight community FACE us for who we are, not for who they imagined - in their worst ignorance-laced imaginations - us to be. Gay Pride marches became much more frequent - we dressed as we were not as the straight community might find acceptable.

It has taken a looooonnnnnggggg time but it is amazing to see that there are more and more areas of this country that now have learned that the ignorance is the sickness inflicted on the people just trying to have the right to be who they are. This should make us all proud - Gay and Straight. 'Gay Pride' means all people can be proud that their community welcomes and cares for all of its people - that no one group of people are feared/hated as outsiders.

 

[SazoidX]

Why “Gay Pride” Is Important To Me, because . . . .

I grew up in a very open, tolerant family. I was raised to believe that people should be judged on their actions towards others, not their skin color, religion, or sexual preference. When I moved out of the house, I started working at a local used bookstore, which employed all sorts of different people, the majority of whom were open, tolerant people. One of the coolest guys there was openly gay, which to me at the time was equivalent to me being openly straight. He liked to go out dancing, I liked to go out dancing, so a friendship was quickly formed between us.

I don't know if I'm proud or embarrassed to admit that I was absolutely shocked the first time we were out together and someone called him out (in terms which are not repeatable on family friendly forums) for being gay. We weren't doing anything to this guy, hadn't even noticed him, but apparently the very presence of my friend was insulting. I was incensed, and promptly wanted to start a fight. After all, in my mind, you hear about this sort of thing, but only in "Deliverance" type settings, not in my town. My friend laughed at me and said it happened all the time and he had stopped paying attention to it.

I was incredibly proud of him for being able to shrug it off like that, but incredibly sad that it happened often enough that it didn't even faze him. It should shock people when other people behave like that. It should not be acceptable behavior towards anyone, for any reason.

Now, almost 10 years later, my fiance's brother is gay, and seventeen. He is getting ready to move out of his parent's house, and go to school in Seattle. While I worry about him, I know that he is better off than my friend from work was. Because "Gay Pride" exists, and because gay people have come before him and paved the way, he will have an easier time being able to truly be who he is. My biggest hope for him is that he never thinks it's normal for people to be horrible to him. "Gay Pride" just might make this possible for him.

 

[Krispers]

“What “Gay Pride” Means To Me, what I have learned and why it is important to me"

While growing up, I never knew what 'Gay' was, When young I looked it up in the dictionary and found that it ment or was defined by quote "1. Merry; airy; jovial; sportive; frolicksome. It denotes more life and animation than cheerful." I was glad I found out a new term and used it frequently until everyone looked at me funny. Mind you I was 10 maybe 11. As some years passed, watching news reports talking about 'Gay' people in a bad way or what rights they have, I realized Gay people really weren't all that 'Gay' as the definition I had learned was ment, they were sad, hurt and sometimes outraged.

I had asked my teacher roughly 'Why are Gay people so sad and angry when they are ment to be jolly?' Not only was I laughed at, I was sent home for having the question. My mother finally explained to me that Gay isnt what Websters dictionary says it is, its a sexual orientation, in which I learned about how things were 'done' in that field. I was still confused, I asked many many questions such as questions along the lines of 'Why gay people still aren't jolly or happy, even if they aren't doing what 'normal' people do?', I was told that Gay people aren't normal but want to do things that everyone else is doing. This made me really think, whats wrong with gay people, what makes them different than anyone else, are they a sort of handicapped person? Mind you I was around 12-14 and this was in the 90's when on the news, it was said that this was a choice and everyone was born straight.

Through the years I believed what I was told but still had many questions until a girl I knew from elementary school told me she was dating a girl. I asked her as many questions as I could, such as 'why did you chose this, what makes you different than other girls, do you like guys at all, things of that nature and with all the answers I had, I realized that Gay people aren't any different, just treated different and thats why they aren't jolly like Websters dictionary said they are. I learned as much as I could and she was always open about things in the community. I started visiting with her to a store which was made specifically for gay people called Lambda Rising where not only did I interact and speak with gays other than this girl I knew, I met someone very well known, who I didnt know was gay. John Waters. At this point I did not know famous people were gay too, I was still very naive.

By age 16 or so I realized gay people are all the same as me and everyone else, and just because they do things that is not considered normal, they were in fact very normal and if everyone stopped treating them different, they wouldn't be different, that they would still be as 'jolly' as the dictionary said they were. By then I believe Websters dictionary added that gay ment homosexual and I insisted on using the word gay as its original meaning of jolly because at that point I believed that Gay was being used as a label instead of a actual meaning. Though high school I was very supportive of any 'Gay' event and did not care who knew. Even now people from this forum have questioned my sexuality, and I openly admit, I am straight but very jolly.

The whole point of this was to say, I may not be 'gay' by what most people consider the word to mean, But I do have a lot of gay pride, I pride myself in being jolly. Pride is knowing the difference between what merely describes us and what defines us. People use the words twink, or butch, or femme but that only describes parts of what people are when in fact, everyone is just human. Humans have their faults, humans have their choices, beliefs, wants, needs, lives. I've learned that deep down everyone, every single person has the same wants, needs, beliefs. And that is To be loved, to be allowed to love. Who you love, or who you can love is individual and unique and everyone should be allowed to love whoever they want to no matter what 'choice' or label they are.

 

[arc2029]

What Gay Pride Means to Me:

I believe that the essence of Gay Pride is not simply being comfortable with one's identity and homosexual orientation, but ensuring that others are as well. Although altering bigoted and intolerant attitudes in 100% of people is totally impossible, obtaining recognition and equal rights under the federal government of the United States is completely possible, and it is shameful that the federal government has been so slow to react. Although US government has left the decision of recognizing unions and marriages up to the states, it has failed to enact appropriate legislation to provide equal rights to same-sex couples that are recognized by a union or marriage in their respective states.

As a financial advisor, this has affected me personally in that I have to observe an alternate (and less financially beneficial) set of rules and lack of benefits for same-sex couples in states that allow unions and marriages. The debate regarding gay marriage is typically focused on perceived religious and moral issues that have no relevance whatsoever to modern American society, and the financial questions are totally overlooked. Same-sex couples are ineligible for so many of the financial and tax benefits enjoyed and taken for granted by married couples, such as:

1. Simply filing taxes is more expensive for same-sex couples in that they typically have to file 2 sets of returns in order to comply with varying state and federal laws. Additionally, same-sex couples are unable to file a joint return for federal taxes, thus forcing them into higher respective individual tax brackets.

2. In addition to the obvious disadvantage listed above, gay couples are unable to transfer assets in excess of $13,000 between their accounts without incurring a tax liability. The IRS allows a tax-deductible gift of up to $13,000 to a non-spouse, but there are no limitations on spousal gifts/asset transfers; however, as the IRS does not recognize gay marriage, any such transfer between a same-sex couple would be taxable.

3. As gay couples age, they will encounter even more difficulties. For instance, for federally recognized marriages in which both parties are receiving social security benefits, if one spouse dies, the surviving spouse may elect to receive the deceased's social security benefit in the event that it is higher that the survivor's. This is not the case with same-sex couples.

4. Additionally, same-sex couples are placed at yet another disadvantage in regard to the transfer of IRA accounts. For instance, in the event that a spouse dies in an opposite-sex marriage, the IRA may be re-registered to the surviving spouse with no potential for taxation until the survivor reaches the age of 70.5 and must begin taking minimum required distributions. Not so for gay couples, in which the account would be transferred to an inherited IRA account with rules of its own.

An inherited IRA is not eligible for a 60-day rollover in which funds are sent to the account owner to be redeposited as he/she sees fit. Funds must be transferred from custodian to custodian. Additionally, a non-spouse beneficiary must begin taking distributions from the IRA by the end of the year following inheritance, thereby eliminating the opportunity for tax deferral allowed to a surviving spouse of an opposite-sex marriage.

This is getting long, and I apologize if these regulations and exclusions are boring to some, but these are serious issues that profoundly effect the inheritance of gay couples. The passing of a spouse can be an enormous financial trial even in the case of federally recognized marriages, and these issues are compounded with same-sex couples.

Fair taxation has been a hot-button issues for decades, but the primary focus in these debates is on income equality/inequality, not gender, race or sexual orientation. What all of this boils down to is that the federal government is essentially telling our fellow American citizens who happen to love someone of the same sex is that, "If you choose to be gay, you will have to pay." This increased taxation is just as arbitrary as levying higher taxes on interracial couples, married couples living separately, or couples with different religions.

In closing, to me, Gay Pride means the same financial rights, privileges and freedoms allowed to all Americans.

 

[priorities]

chit chat..................these are all just wonderful! So great to see this..* hugs you guys..*

 

[beartard]

Chit Chat

Yup. I'm pretty danged impressed with these forums so far.

chit chat..................these are all just wonderful! So great to see this..* hugs you guys..*

 

[Modrod.]

Chit and Chat

Just a bump to get this back on page 1.

 

[Mr.Mann]

Combination of - “What “Gay Pride” Means To Me’, "What I Have Learned About "Gay Pride", and "Why “Gay Pride” Is Important To Me, because . . . ."

For a long time, like probably many heterosexual people, the struggles of the homosexual community didn't really impinge on my awareness much - likely because I didn't see that it affected my daily life.

I supported the rights of gay persons more as a general philosophy of equal rights of people than anything I had spent any time thinking about or had any passion for. I was aware that, as a heterosexual person, I had the right to marry my love, receive his insurance benefits, and inherit his property – these rights I took for granted. I was also vaguely aware that most homosexual couples did not have these rights – and that was ‘disappointing’ and ‘not right’, in my mind, but those thoughts were as far as it went.

I had a friend who was openly homosexual. He had been with his partner for 16 years. They were in a loving and committed relationship. My friend’s partner was named John, and was an voice teacher specializing in opera at a local university. He had a voice that could make your soul shiver as it showed you heaven.

My friend, Matt, came home from work one day and found his love dead on the bathroom floor. Heart attack. He was 48 years old.

Matt was flattened with grief. He was lost. Bereft. As any of us would be if our love, soulmate, and partner of 16 years were taken away in a breath.

But it was worse for Matt, because within days of John’s death, John’s family came and took his things. They displaced Matt from his home because it was titled to John. They took John’s personal items. They took his bank account. They took his piano, his music, the recordings of his beautiful voice.

Matt was crushed. He consulted a lawyer and tried to fight for his rights, but he had pretty much none. He lost not only his love, but all the remembrances of his love, and all the things they had collected together over 16 years of life with each other.

I am safe. I have been made safe by laws and tradition that protect me if the worst should happen and I am widowed. But Matt didn’t have that protection and so he suffered – far more than was necessary, far more than was his due simply by his loss.

And it wasn’t right. It wasn't right as an outrage isn't right. As an outrage will impel you to stand up and fight against that outrage.

The anger I felt at Matt's ordeal has stayed with me.
To me, it’s not about laws and statutes and legal procedures - it’s about love.
And our inherent, deep, unalienable right to love.

And that is something worth fighting for....

Wish I could've liked this more than once, but at least now you can!

 

[Uncle]

CONTEST Update - Clarification . . . .

Wish I could've liked this more than once, but at least now you can!

I'm sure "You" only meant to help and promote this person post because of what they wrote, however that is not the way this Contest works . . .

More importantly, I really hope that the people that "like" specific post do so with why this contest was start in mind and what was said by the poster - as you have already done by "like" their OP.

PLEASE NOTE:Any campaigning for "likes" by anyone personally that I find out about or I am sent evidence of it being done - I Will Disqualify The Post for a prize package . . .

(BTW: "lettucehead - You are GOOD - YOUR Post still qualifies . . . )

 

[priorities]

chit chat....a nice pic of NYC to wake you up!

 

[NancyR]

What“Gay Pride” Means To Me

To me Gay Pride has nothing to do with the publicity, the parades, and all the other hype you see on TV and in the streets. That is just for show.

To me Gay Pride is the friend that fought over in Vietnam, then came home and tried living his life. All the while hiding what he felt inside. Then the strength it took him to not just come out of the closet, but to start living her life the way it was meant to be lived.

It's about my “little brother”, disowned by his family as he wasn't the son they wanted.

The people like them is why it is important. The hardships they faced, the hate they have lived with, not always from someone else, but from within as well. The doubts, the long nights they spent wondering “what is wrong with me? Why do I feel this?”.

It's also the kids growing up now, so maybe when they realize they are different, it won't be a “sin” or taboo. So maybe they can live in a world that will accept their choice, not hate them for it.

 

[Modrod.]

bumpity bump

 

[priorities]

~Good Morning bump and hope it's a great day for you all! Keep them coming!

 

[MissP]

What I have learned about Gay Pride...

I guess until I started working with an author that writes gay erotica I had never really looked at the political social issues that gay people face on a regular basis. With the ECF contests, I have had to really look at moments in history, and delve into the lives of people in the public's eye. What I am finding out, to me anyway, is that Gay Pride isn't so much about being gay, but about being who you are, and the strength and bravery you face every day.

We are all the same inside, homosexual or heterosexual. We feel. We hurt. We face oppositions in society of all sorts. We hunger. We smile. We laugh. We contribute. We live our lives the best way we know how. Who is to choose how we live and love? That is not our neighbors call, nor our families, nor our pastors, and especially not our politicians.

Just how I feel on the subject

 

[MrsCasey]

What Gay Pride Means To Me

When I was 19 and working at my first office job I met and became very good friends with a guy who was not openly gay in the office but was outside of the office and lived in a very well known gay community here in So Cal. He called in sick for a few days, which was very unlike him, and when I called to check on him I got no answer so I went by his house. He had just been released from the hospital. Some guys had broken into his home and not taken anything, they were there solely to beat him. They kicked him and punched him and hit him in the head and face with a tire iron because he was gay. It took him several months to recover physically but he still carries the mental scars to this day.

Gay Pride to me is a movement, a way of life and a way of educating people and making them aware that when you hate, stereotype, fear or abuse a gay person you are hurting a person with feelings, dreams and rights. A person just like you! Gay Pride holds the promise, the possibility, that someday the majority of people will accept people for who they are and won't judge one another and that someday a gay man doesn't have to fear having his head beat in with a tire iron!

 

[morri]

Well I have been putting this off because well, I'm not sure. I wanted to do it right or not sound crazy or whatever. I decided to just say how I feel and go from there.

"What Gay Pride Means to Me and What I Have Learned about Gay Pride, and Why Gay Pride is Important to Me"​

I believe first of all, one of the reasons I really like Gay Pride is because it is standing up "for" something. Something that I believe affects all of us, not just gay and lesbians. You see, I believe it is better to fight for something, rather than against something, because I believe it lends my power to the thing I am fighting against. If, on the other hand, I stand "up" for something or stand "for" a thing, it lends my power to that cause. Personal power is a great gift and should be used wisely. Gay Pride means to me that people have started to use more of their power to stand for something as opposed to fighting against. I am not, in any way negating the necessity of fighting against prejudice. Prejudice in any form is ugly. It is vulgar and it is nasty. It happens when people begin to believe they are better than everyone else. It is dangerous. If I am so much elevated above those below, I must be above the law, above the rules. It is frightening. Since those creatures are so much below me, maybe they should be eliminated. It only gets worse.

When people start standing up and being proud because of who and what they are, it is beautiful, enlightening, and moving. They shine. It is powerful! It means they are winning. Oh yes, they are winning. The power is now on their side. The sun shines on their faces and they become the glorious warriors. They are victorious. When I see the parade, I see that. The "in your face", no matter what you think, kind of pride. I am so proud of you guys.

You might think that I was brought up this way. I was not. I love my parents and they taught me many wonderful things. They provided a home with love and understanding. That understanding did not reach people who were not like "us". We were a middle class, white family who at times had things a bit rough. I remember as a child, there being a black man, standing outside the door. I asked my mother who he was and she told me, Mr. Johnson, that nice negro man that brings us vegetables some times. I asked her why he didn't come in while he waited and she told me "Oh no! He is a nice negro man, he knows his place." He can't come in here. I remember being puzzled. I still am. My mother was a lovely, beautiful lady. How, could she think so? I really don't know why it never made sense to me. I don't know why that I always thought it was ugly and hateful. I just did. I didn't talk back to my parents, though. Many many years later I tried to speak with my mother about it and she had never changed. She didn't like gay people either. They were abhorrence to God, or something to that effect. About 6 years ago, she came over and wanted to talk. She said, Debby, you understand about these things, we need you're help. I asked her what in the world was wrong. My step father's brother's wife or some such, (I really don't remember, I did not know them) had a daughter that was coming into our tiny, little Texas town. The wife had passed away and the daughter was coming from New York to her mother's funeral. There was only one problem. The daughter was a lesbian. It is very hard for me to type that word even. I touched on the subject in the other thread. I was taught that lesbian is a dirty word, much like *igger. A word that proper ladies do not say. That is one of the things I have learned, but will get back to that later. My mother wanted me to go and meet with this girl and talk her into leaving. Leave without seeing her mother. Without seeing any of her family that she had not seen in 20 years. It still makes me cry to think about it. I just looked at her. This woman that I loved with my whole heart. I just looked at her. I finally said, "Mommi, do you believe that if anything happened to you, there is any power in this world that would keep me away from you?" She said, "Debra, this is different. The girl is queer." I cried then, as I am crying now. I asked her how much different would it be if I were "queer"? My mother told me that if I were queer, I wouldn't be her daughter. I told her I would still be me. I would still love her just as much. She told me that she would not love me. I was crushed. My heart burst, it hurt for me and for the girl. I would not go and speak with her if that is the only thing they wanted me to say. I begged her to plead with the family some of that Christian love that I always heard so much about, and to remember that this girl had just lost her mother, mother that she had not seen in twenty years. She finally agreed to speak with them and perhaps they could at least be civil since I would not help and they had no other choice. I lost my Mom a little over a year ago. Nothing in this world has ever hurt me so much. I still hurt and probably always will and I wonder....how much worse for her. The girl and I don't even know her name. This is what Gay Pride means to me. The ability to stand up and say, "Hey this is me. I like me. If you don't, too bad!" The ability to be accepted for who you are and not necessarily for what you are. I wonder at how backward is a civilization that places so much import on whom we sleep with.

What I have learned. I have learned it is OK to say the word Lesbian. That it is a good word that is used to describe two women who love each other, or a woman who likes other women. I have learned that I am "gay friendly". LOL There is actually a word for me. I have learned about some really awesome, inspiring heroes and heroines that have sacrificed amazing things in the name of love. I have learned how a community that is oft times shy, can overcome and come together and share things that might not necessarily be important to all parties....in the beginning. A community like ours can come and share and be tolerant and loving of people, no matter how they believe, or feel, or happen to be in love with.

Why Gay Pride is important to me. Because of all the things I have already said, and because we are none alone on this planet. What affects me, in some way, on some day will affect you as well. We are brothers and sisters. There really is enough love to go around, and no one should have to be afraid of LOVE.

I love you all
"sticks and stones will break your bones, but words will break your heart"

morri

 

[Modrod.]

One day left! Be sure to get those entries in here and on Part 1 of this contest.

 

[proudlion]

Why Gay Pride is important to me ...

The Long Ordeal of Craig Cohen « Unfinished Lives

I don't want this to happen to anyone else.

Craig was indeed a 'little guy with a big heart' - he was my friend.

 

[36tinybells]

Chit chat.

Why Gay Pride is important to me ...

The Long Ordeal of Craig Cohen « Unfinished Lives

I don't want this to happen to anyone else.

Craig was indeed a 'little guy with a big heart' - he was my friend.

I am so sorry that happened to anyone, especially your friend. I am sick for the loss of such a giving soul and ashamed that those criminals are part of the human race- I truly hope they never walk free again.

His poor furbabies, too.
What a terrible, terrible loss.

 

[priorities]

chit chat*Good day everyone....enjoy it...and Good Luck *!!