- Status
I'd like to know how to politely tell a pregnant women that she is hurting her baby with every puff she takes...I have a couple of friends...that i cut off all ties with BECAUSE they insisted on keeping smoking while pregnant....These girls insisted that their Doctor told them that the Withdrawal from smoking would be too bad on the child and they could still smoke
What do you say to that...Makes me sick but i have yet found a way to respond without losing my cool and screaming that they're Doctors a ..... and should be stripped of his license
What do you say to that...Makes me sick but i have yet found a way to respond without losing my cool and screaming that they're Doctors a ..... and should be stripped of his license
I personally find that very hard to believe (that not only one but two different doctors of two smoking pregnant women would actually tell them this)
if I had gotten into this conversation with two pregnant women about their smoking in the first place (not too sure I would have, but for conversations sake lets say I did and this is where it went)
then it becomes a matter of suspecting I'm being lied to (I have a real personal pet peeve about people lying to me and when I suspect or know they are then that's just a different deal and changes things, especially if they're close enough/important enough for me to consider them friends) -- so I'd likely want to chase that one down, offer to actually go with each the ladies to each their next doctor's appointments in order to ask after this and hear from each of their doctors, for myself.
Last edited:
This entire thread is a interesting insight into our society. All of the opinions on other peoples actions, on how did the human race survive without science and particularly the spoken and unspoken judgments.
The best and most profound advice anyone can give anyone else is their own actions. The old saw, "Actions speak louder than words" applies to all at all levels. Too many times, WAY too many times all everyone gives is lip service and lip advice.
Let your own actions and the manner in which you live your own life be the advice you give others. People wishing to improve thier lives will seek you out. People that have no intention of improving their lives will avoid you.
The human tendency to offer advice unsolicited and propencity to offer, "Do what I say not what I do" often renders such advice moot anyway.
The best and most profound advice anyone can give anyone else is their own actions. The old saw, "Actions speak louder than words" applies to all at all levels. Too many times, WAY too many times all everyone gives is lip service and lip advice.
Let your own actions and the manner in which you live your own life be the advice you give others. People wishing to improve thier lives will seek you out. People that have no intention of improving their lives will avoid you.
The human tendency to offer advice unsolicited and propencity to offer, "Do what I say not what I do" often renders such advice moot anyway.
Last edited:
I could easily have a polite conversation and do just that - if it's approach from the perspective of making sure they are aware of what knowledge is out there and what we do not know about vaping. If it's done conversationally and w/out a judgmental tone, it would be no big deal. So, you dropped these women b/c they were smoking while pregnant or b/c you thought they were lying about what their doctors had said? I wonder if they had the same doctor. Like someone else said, I can't imagine a doctor ever saying that.
It is interesting, Sheer, and it's ironic, too...by discussing Bandit's choice to speak his mind to the woman, aren't we all passing judgment (good or bad) on what he did?
Someone commented on someone else's choice, and we comment on their choice to comment on someone else's choice?
That's not intended to criticize anyone - it's just an interesting aspect of human nature.
i think you were just mad cuz she was already pregnant! lol
j/k bandit! but yea that is kinda messed-up!!
j/k bandit! but yea that is kinda messed-up!!
I would say to that that these ladies are lucky that you cut all ties with them. It is really none of your business, and there certainly are doctors who say exactly what these ladies told you. Next time you are vaping and an anti-smoker attacks you with his "knowledge" you will understand what the pregnant ladies were thinking about you.
Long before the anti's, people smoked. My mother even smoked in the labor room with me.
The pregnant/smoking thing is about prematurity and low birth weight. I smoked with all three of my kids and each got bigger and more overdue. And, as I was, all three were born perfectly healthy.
Both my mother and grandmother smoked for over 70 yrs and died of old age. I don't want to smoke again, not because I'm afraid of cancer or any of that, but because after 49 yrs, I got a cough that was pissing me off and I got sick of cig butts and smoke and because in this day and age, smoking is anathema. So, now I vape. I don't want to turn into one of those people who looks down on smokers as I have been.
The pregnant/smoking thing is about prematurity and low birth weight. I smoked with all three of my kids and each got bigger and more overdue. And, as I was, all three were born perfectly healthy.
Both my mother and grandmother smoked for over 70 yrs and died of old age. I don't want to smoke again, not because I'm afraid of cancer or any of that, but because after 49 yrs, I got a cough that was pissing me off and I got sick of cig butts and smoke and because in this day and age, smoking is anathema. So, now I vape. I don't want to turn into one of those people who looks down on smokers as I have been.
[...]Someone commented on someone else's choice, and we comment on their choice to comment on someone else's choice?
That's not intended to criticize anyone - it's just an interesting aspect of human nature.
Lol, well, isn't this perpetual commenting about one another just one of the things that sets us apart from the rest of the animal kingdom?
Human Beings = "Comments-R-Us"
I've been coming to believe that it may even be an especially highly accentuated part of the Michigander human experience -- as a whole it seems we Michiganders do tend towards being lovely colorfully unique feisty independent-thinking rebellious sorts with a collective exceptional 'comment-readiness'.
Must be the weather.
Its almost always too dangerously hot and muggy or far more often, way too dangerously cold for us to do much else, not much in the non-human species can even stand to live up here naturally. We don't even actually have wolverines here in the "Wolverine State"
Most of us here don't even know what a wolverine actually is or looks like. Never seen 'em.
A few years back we all (Michiganders that is) got to do a great deal of commenting (and then of course commenting again on the first commenting) when one of our genius state gov't officials proposed we should instead be either the "Dog State" or perhaps the "Cow State' (since thats nearly about it/all we've got that lives here and thats only because they've got humans to guard and house and help them out).. but I digress.. (I think maybe we Michiganders may also have a collective tendency towards that, digressing that is, too)
Last edited:
Caffeine and smoking increases the risk of miscarriage. The risk increases with the amount you consume. Smoking has numerous other very serious effects on an unborn child. It doesn't matter if your aunt's friend smoked 800 cigarettes a day and everything turned out well. If a pregnant woman indulges in drugs, smokes, excessive alcohol or caffeine then she is intentionally exposing her child to increased risks.
I know it sounds harsh, but thats the reality.
I expect vaping is far less harmful than smoking for the unborn but it will take years before they have the studies available. I have read the patch is suggested for pregnant women who can't quit.
I know it sounds harsh, but thats the reality.
I expect vaping is far less harmful than smoking for the unborn but it will take years before they have the studies available. I have read the patch is suggested for pregnant women who can't quit.
My Mom smoked when she was pregnant with me and it didn't affect me at... My Mom smoked when she was pregnant for me and it didn't affect... My Mom smoked with me and I didn't know... Did I say that my Mom smokes?
Anyone want to hear that my Mom smoked when she was pregnant with me??? With no adverse effects?
Shoot - it's amazing any of us survive into adulthood... But we've been doing it for hundreds of thousands of years...
And what is the patch full of...Nicotine!!! And Sherid, yes my doctor told me (23 yrs ago) that if I couldn't quit not to stress out about it because the added stress of trying to quit could cause worse things to happen to my baby. I didn't stress and my own body (which I try to listen to) pretty much let me almost quit. I couldn't stand cigs while I was pregnant. Tried a few times to smoke made me sick, but I never had morning sickness..go figure.
And Sherid, yes my doctor told me (23 yrs ago) that if I couldn't quit not to stress out about it because the added stress of trying to quit could cause worse things to happen to my baby. I didn't stress and my own body (which I try to listen to) pretty much let me almost quit. I couldn't stand cigs while I was pregnant. Tried a few times to smoke made me sick, but I never had morning sickness..go figure.
This is all interesting. My girlfriends doctor tiptoed around the subject as not to offend. Though she did tell her it was more important later in the pregnancy as when the lungs and brain were forming. My girl drastically reduced her analog and nicotine intake down. We had not heard about e-cigs sooner. We tried a few times too quit. Though I never encouraged nor discouraged her smoking. She's due in a month and actually is measuring "ahead" of schedule. The doctor says too expect 8ish lb baby. Maybe I should have encouraged her more. Though I wasn't going to say too much considering I'm doing the exact thing I'm telling her not too do. I just let people stranger, friend, or foe do what they do. It's not my place to tell them how to live their lives, no matter how dangerously they choose to do so. I can just choose to love/like/hate them while they are here...
I'm fat and have been obese all of my life. So many people have said "You have such a pretty face - have you ever considered going on a diet?". They were having a polite conversation from the perspecive of making sure I had knowledge, conversationally and w/out a judgmental tone.
From MY side as the recipient of this polite conversation, I felt that they were being intrusive and actually pretty damn insulting!
My doctor, 17 years ago, said "no more than 8 cigarettes a day" I smoked 4 per day. With my daughter, 21 years ago, they said the same. I have two beautiful, healthy kids.And what is the patch full of...Nicotine!!!
Neither of them smoke BTW, but neither of them are busybodies or guardians of other people's health and personal choices. I like that.
This is a very different conversation - it's criticizing someone's appearance.
There can be medical issues that contribute to weight. If I saw someone with a port wine stain on their face, I certainly wouldn't meander over and say 'hey, why don't you get a tattoo over that?'. No matter how 'friendly' that was posed, it would be hurtful and embarassing to the recipent. I may be outspoken, but the virtue I preach most to my kids is to be kind.
Jeannie, if we met in person, I might give you a compliment, but you can be sure I wouldn't give you the old 'pretty face' lead in to a weight convo. Not to mention, 'have you ever considered going on a diet' is just a lame question. Who hasn't considered that? But I'm sure we could have a very nice chat about a lot of other things, though.
Seeing another person vaping is an unusual occurance - I've never come across one in public - and just sharing that commonality could make for a more open conversation.
Last edited:
- Status
Similar threads
