I totally getcha OP. I have been vaping about 3-4 months and still struggle with cigs. daily. It isn't so much the nicotine alone I think, because after a few hospital stays I was totally nic free and yet the craving for a cigarette was brutal! I was literally vibrating when I left the hospital and could light up again! I think some of us have more addictive brains than others, whatever that boils down to scientifically! Whether we don't make enough of those "feel good" chemicals or don't utilize them as well or whatever, I know I crave that "reward" with every fiber of my being. Almost every cigarette I don't smoke still feels like a struggle and it is just so frustrating! I truly want to hate smoking, it is not only disgusting health wise, odor wise, dollar wise, etc. etc., I despise the idea that I am lining the pockets of BT with my hard earned dollars so they can kill me, or rather help me kill myself. I do enjoy vaping too, though there is not that same level of satisfaction that the nasty weed provides. I can vape like a fiend with good equipment and high nic, maybe even too high because it sometimes gives me symptoms, and I still crave a damn cigarette! I also still like their taste and have not found a liquid whose flavor I enjoy as much. Menthol flavored juice is maybe the closest, but I even get tired of that. I don't have the money to support 2 habits, and with the recommendation of adding snus or WTA fortified liquids, 3 or 4, so WTF is wrong with me??? It is becoming maddening especially reading how so many switched over just about effortlessly and never looked back. I so want to be one of you! It isn't for lack of trying or wanting or willing or anything like that, and I certainly don't want to be one of those people who are still smoking through their laryngectomy incision for heaven sake! I've done all my homework and followed the leaders, but here I am still battling this pathetic opponent at every turn. I don't mean to come across as a whiny little wuss grovelling for sympathy, I just want to be a happy vaper and be done with cigarettes! I can't work now, yet I'm not eligible for disability because I spent more time raising my children than paying SS so I am 2 quarters short of being able to apply...I can't afford to buy tons of liquids to find my go to's, I even have to save up to DIY, so if there is an answer for me, I certainly can't afford to find it and smoke too! It makes no sense even to me, so I sure can't expect anyone else to understand! I am my own worst enemy, and yet I don't want to give up... how pathetic is that? There aren't even words to describe it without sounding masochistic or something. So trust me OP, you aren't alone, sadly, for whatever that's worth, I just wish I could give some helpful advice, instead of also being in dire need of some! Hang in there baby!
