Serious Family Question, Need Advice Please!

[Kimerpuff]

I totally understand where your at Suddenly! When my mother died, my father remarried and it wasnt long before she started moving my brother and I out of the family tree so to speak.. I fought for years, to keep my relationship with my father but finally gave in as it was way to painful for me to continue. My brother is convinced that she is mentally abusing him when it comes to us as he just gives in to the woman and lets her run the show. Its easier then constantly arguing, to just give in so yeah MK is prolly spot on but how much hen pecking can one man take?

The only suggestion I have is to have a serious convo with your son, see if you can meet them at the zoo or other places without her?

 

[sheryder]

So sorry for your situation. Lots of good thoughts and advice in the posts above. My way of dealing with it would probably be more direct. I don't like confrontation at all but I would take the bull by the horns one LAST time. I would have the following conversation with him during our next private conversation. "I have done everything I can to foster a relationship with my grandchild and continue a closer relationship with you. No matter what goes on in the future I love you no matter what does or doesn't happen but you will have to make the next move. I will not bring this up to you again but you should know it won't be out of my mind -ever. When you feel the time is right to change things I will be ready and willing without judgment. Until then just know that this situation is very hurtful to me. I am missing out being a grandmother and you and your son are missing out on having the love and relationship from your family. You don't get a do over in this life. Do you want this situation to be your legacy to your son on what is acceptable for family relationships? Would you want to be in my shoes if your child were to grow up and shun you without cause? You think about this and contact me when you are ready." Then leave. No conversation about it at that time. Just leave. Knowing me I would have to read it from a card with tears rolling down my face as I am an emotional woman but I would get it said.

 

[Seabrook]

Oh, this is a tough one. So sorry for your dilemma, Suddenly. Since you and your son had such a good, solid relationship before his marriage to his wife, I wonder if he told his wife what a wonderful mom you are, how well you cook, how sweet, loving, cute, caring and compassionate and funny you are. Maybe she felt threatened that she was going to have to compete with you for his love and attention? And maybe she feels inadequate when you're around because you're such an independent, confident, successful person that she just can't shine above. Could that be it?

I sure hope everything works out in this situation that makes you all so sad and unfulfilled. It can't be easy on your son either. Hugz and blessings to you, dearheart.

 

[Katattack]

As a therapist are you familiar with jealousy issues? Your daughter in-law may (I'm no expert) have such issues. It would make sense. Her family is no "threat" while your family is. Even though logically your family is no threat in the jealous mind anyone the SO (or child even) loves is a serious threat.
This, of course, is just a possibility. I've been reading a lot on jealousy (because of a personal situation) and may be applying what I've been reading to an unrelated situation.