I need to quit, I'm so tired of it.

[yoshistr]

I need to quit smoking but every time I try I just end up buying more packs of smokes and just smoking non stop to "make" up for the days I quit, usually I can quit for a day up to 2 or 3 days and then I crack and buy a few packs and go through them quickly. I feel so tired of life and am tired of being depressed smoking cigarettes everyday just to feel okay with my life, I want to be happy with my life but I get these strong urges to have fun and start smoking to feel really good. I have a ton of electronic cigarette supplies but I can't get myself to use them because I need that cigarette taste, flavor, etc. I'm tired of losing everything I care about just to get that rush from the nicotine in my blood stream, I'm tired of my hands and feet blistering because not enough blood is reaching them, I'm tired of living my life just for the next cigarette, even as I type this I am getting ready to have my next smoke and I can't wait. I planned on becoming a doctor and even have my B.Sc. in Biology but still stupidly smoke and am ruining my chances of getting into medical school. I just want to quit, be happy with my life and achieve my goals but I have no motivation besides just saying I want to quit and recently I realized because I don't have any "real" friends who care enough to help me quit.
I want to get a quit buddy here, so if anyone else wants to quit by tomorrow please reply or PM me, I want to quit at the same time as the other person and use each other for motivation to remain committed to quitting. I would prefer someone who is also not using e-cigs but don't mind as long as they don't smoke any analogs and have time everyday to let me know how their day went by quitting, etc. If you are interested please let me know, also if tomorrow is too soon you can set a date this week and I will happily quit with you.

I need to quit for good, the last time I managed to quit for a few months with the e-cig but I never want to put any chemicals in my body anymore, I think we all deserve to be happy without nicotine.

 

[trog100]

interesting stuff.. you seem young and obsessed with the idea you need to "quit" its the obsession that is making you unhappy not the smoking..

nicotine is a drug.. people that suffer from real life mental health problems tend to be smokers.. psychiatric doctors and other members of the profession turn a very obvious blind eye and deaf ear to the fact a disproportional number of the people they deal with are smokers.. deep down they know smoking is a self administered part of the drug therapy...

i will quote a real life example of this.. my eldest son has suffered from severe mental health problems all his adult life.. he has always chain smoked...

i was talking to his psychiatrist a couple of years back... the general gist of the conversation was we were both happy with the progress he was making...

i said to the doctor.. i am a little worried about his excessively heavy smoking..

watching the professional person squirm avoid eye contact and show all symptoms of being put on the spot was interesting..

in the end he found his professional in charge of the situation mind set.. looked me in the eye and said.. "i think thats the least of his problems dont you"..

i cant say i totally agreed but i knew the conversation could go no further..

anyways my advice for what its worth is stop worrying about something that really isnt as important as you think it is..

stop trying so hard to do something that perhaps you aint ready to do..

best of luck

trog

ps...

I think we all deserve to be happy without nicotine.

some of us aint happy even with nicotine.. none of us "deserve to be happy" its just one of lifes states that some of us if we are lucky find ourselves in from time to time.. as i say be lucky.. be happy "sometimes".. he he

 

[modestmark]

wow. deep stuff trog. telling it like it is.
I doubt that quitting smoking is going to get you more friends, get you into medical school, or even make you happy for more than a month.
there's a whole sub forum just for people trying to quit the nicotine BTW, I'm sure you could find a lot of support there!
Quitting - e-cigarette-forum.com • The place for electronic cigarette reviews, news and chat

 

[frankie1]

yoshistr: I hear your pain and desperation. I pray you find the answer to your situation. I went on a diet after years of obesity thinking I would lose a few pounds...I lost 70! I was amazed at what I accomplished. For many years I had blamed all my problems on being overweight. I discovered after the weight loss that the problems were still there. Being thin didn't fix any of them. I think that is what you will find when you quit smoking. You will get some wonderful benefits from quitting, but that alone won't fix everything for you. Please, keep researching HOW to quit here. Believe in yourself and be realistic in your goals and expectations. Try baby steps...replace a few smokes with vaping, then a few more, until at last you find you CAN quit. That is what I am doing, because I haven't been able to quit completely. But I am down from 30 - 40 cigs per day to at most 5...and that is a huge accomplishment for me. Maybe I will never quit completely, but I will never quit trying to be the very best I can be. After all, that is all any of us can do...our best. And our best is simply good enough. Good luck! I will pray for you.

Trog: Amazing post....great information for all of us and so very true.

 

[jumpingjupiter]

I fully relate to your obsession with "I have to quit". It has been driving me nuts for about 20 years. The funny thing is that the obsession reenforces the addiction. As soon as I think (seriously) about quitting... I smoke almost double my normal consumption. Since I am a heavy smoker to begin with... I chain smoke.

I turned to Vape'ing out of despration. I figure it is a matter of harm reduction. I have gone from smoking 2 packs a day down to 1. And am slowly weening myself off of analogs. Currently I will not smoke at work.. only Vape. Soon, it will be no smoking before 5pm (only Vape)... then 6pm, then 7pm.

I am firmly convinced that there are other addictive chemicals in cigs than just the nicotine. If not, I wouldn't jones for a smoke while vape'ing my brains out. If it is just psycological, then it takes time to train the brain into new patterns.

Anyway you look at it, don't get discouraged give up trying. You can view vape'ing as a intermediate step. An "all or nothing" attitude hasn't yeilded permenant results for me... perhaps you are the same.

 

[Snarkyone]

I have to come down on the side of Trog with this. Nothing in this world can make you happy but yourself. Nicotine is not upsetting your life, it's not making you depressed, and it sure as hell won't keep you out of med school. It sounds to me like you are dealing with more than just quitting smoking issues right now.

We all have to take responsibility for our own happiness and find our own path in life. I don't know what else to tell you really other than to look within for the changes you seek because that is where the answer is and always has been you just didn't know it.

Sorry if I seem harsh it's not my intention for once, lol! Trying to quit smoking tobacco cigarettes is one of the hardest things to do in life. Addictions are a serious health and mental issue for millions of people all over the world. If it was easy then everyone could do it. I think you have too much background "noise" going on in your life/head right now to develop good non smoking habits and frame of mind. I'm not a professional but that's just my gut feeling. You need to want it and be able to withstand the pressures of daily life without it causing undue stress. I wish you well and hope you find a quit buddy. If you can't I'm sure one of us evil vapist will be willing to help by lending an ear.

 

[Raand1]

Wow Trogg...Deep dude, glad i got to read it.....few things that i've read hold more truth then what you said.

For me i smoked 30 yrs. I'm so glad to put down a very bad choice i made at 13. I wouldn't make that choice today, but i couldn't undo the bad decision.

Thank whoever(god) that i have quit analogs. I get to vape as much and spend as much as i want for a year. I'm very proud of me Imho anyone that has just slain the same dragon i have should be proud of themselves also.

 

[Dredbull]

The evil demon monkey that resides on your back is hungry, his food of choice is willpower his need is analogs.

I suggest not beat yourself up over a quit date, find the equipment and tools to assist you in slaying that slobbering ....... on your back.
It may cost a bit, research a bit get suggestions find out what works best for you.
I found my recent saving grace in a 510, good juice and then a HV option battery mod.
I took one pull from the mod and blasted my fury demon cravings to hell where it belongs.

We have some great people here, lots of suggestions ideas and personal triumphs and pitfalls. But for the most part everyone I have ran into here has been in a similar place of needing to quit and wanting to quit.
Hang in there vape to your hearts content you will see improvements in a short time frame.

I went from a 2-3 PAD habit, to half a pack to maybe 1-4 to 1 or none. I slip but do not beat myself up about it, if it happens it happens. Its been 3 crazy weeks and the last 2 I took a vapcation to experiment, test and find what worked for me without subjecting the rest of humanity from my insanity.

 

[yoshistr]

The problem is definitely the nicotine because I'm using it to hide from the real issues in my life. If I can't deal with the stress of life or if I get a rush of energy I grab a cigarette to feel everything is alright or to feel great. For someone like me, I never had a lot of people who cared enough about me and I have been subjected to a lot of negative criticism instead of positive critiques. I have forgotten who I am and I don't mean that in the sense of existing but I don't even know what I like or dislike because the only thing that matters is getting that next cigarette. I can be in a really good mood and not even know it or be really depressed but I am always just mellowed out so I don't feel life's experiences like most people (even a lot of smokers) since smoking isn't just a bad habit for me it is all I have (or at least that is how I think of it). I know I have no excuse or right to say my life wasn't fair and therefore I will smoke because I do have a lot to live for but it is difficult to live a life when I always feel like an automaton regardless of what I do. Everything I do is to get it over with and not caring what it is just to get that next drag, I'm tired of feeling nothing inside and I know when I quit smoking the memories come back and I begin to regain my personality. I just want to feel something and I do want to quit, I'm thinking of starting up a daily journal and recording my feelings in it to help me vent or express my stress and realize its not as bad as I make it out to be.
I will quit as of 10/23/09 by 12:00 PM for a while at least until I can feel better about myself and care enough to actually do things other than sitting around all day smoking cigarettes.

Thanks everyone here for the support and suggestions, I will keep you posted on how it goes. I believe I will use green tea to help me relax and instead of smoking I will try to work out or do something productive to keep my mind active.

 

[trog100]

if we all move back into time and remember when we were kids.. monsters under the bed.. setting ourselves silly little tasks like walking all the way to school without stepping on a crack in the pavement..

grown ups are just big kids.. those fears and uncertainties are still there.. so is the need to set ourselves little tasks to prove our own self worth..

your problems yoshstr go beyond the need to stop f-cking smoking but you already know that.. i have always held the view that nicotine the much maligned drug because of its linking to tobacco smoking makes people better people.. it really does have a beneficial affect on our mental state..

the professional mind doctors think this as well.. sadly the last thing they dare do in this day and age is make their views public..

i know because of the product we sell.. there are a lot of people out there in the world.. good people.. clever people even rich and powerful people who wear a badge of shame because the (over the top) anti smoking propaganda has turned them into a bunch of self haters simply because they are addicted to nicotine and have been unable to stop smoking..

there really are worse things in life than being a bloody "smoker" much worse things..

trog

 

[Grandma Cas]

Hi yoshistr, I think you have to stop telling yourself you need to stop smoking. You’re addicted to nicotine, we all are on here & vaping is just another way to get our nicotine fix.

How we get that fix is down to us, we can carry on smoking tobacco with all the added rubbish that is killing us or we can vape with far less damage to ourselves.

What you have to remember is nicotine is far more addictive than many other drugs out there & tobacco was the only way we could get it (until now) so, it might help to do what I do.

Now, you need to know I’m 64 & have been a smoker for over 50 years... I tried all the quit methods over the years & nothing worked until I found vaping... ‘cause you see I still haven’t actually stopped... I just switched my nicotine delivery system.

I just tell myself vaping is a new way to get my nicotine fix & I can smoke if I want to... not because I have to. Think about it, there is a big difference between the words want & need. And I haven’t wanted to since March this year. I have to say the feeling of being in control is amazing.

 

[Giantfan]

I think he needs something more than just quitting smoking. More like some therapy and a prescription for an antidepressant.

You sound entirely too stressed. Smoking is not the source of your problems, but you are making it out to be.

 

[Dredbull]

I used to say "I smoke so the stupid can live!" not I say "I vape so I can live and torment the stupid people!"

I remember when the patches went OTC, 2 weeks of sheer nearly violent reactions to wanting a cig. I could not get this weird metal taste out of my mouth, never mind the gummy crap on my skin and ripping 2x2 patches of hair off my body.

I kind of thank the patch and the moment of insanity it led to a moment of clarity.
I was in the throws of madness for 14 days, was having a BAD day.
Gum forget it! BLECH!
Commit *shivers*
Zyban <-- ok I will say I LOVED this but not for the stop smoking effects, it is a mood elevator.
Nicatrol inhaler.. YEP I enjoyed sucking on that tube non stop and burning my throat doing it. NOT!
Some stop smoking herbal tea crap that make me crap, vomit and did nothing.
patch again and then quit trying to quit.

I still am not really trying to quit but if 1-2 a day is the stumbling block I get after my 2 week vapecation I am honestly fine with it.
I am just glad when that demon monkey starts flinging poo and causing a ruckus I can beat it into submission with my PV.

 

[Vocalek]

I want to get a quit buddy here, so if anyone else wants to quit by tomorrow please reply or PM me, I want to quit at the same time as the other person and use each other for motivation to remain committed to quitting. I would prefer someone who is also not using e-cigs but don't mind as long as they don't smoke any analogs and have time everyday to let me know how their day went by quitting, etc. If you are interested please let me know, also if tomorrow is too soon you can set a date this week and I will happily quit with you.

I need to quit for good, the last time I managed to quit for a few months with the e-cig but I never want to put any chemicals in my body anymore, I think we all deserve to be happy without nicotine.

If you want to become nicotine abstinent, you can get a lot of support from some of the smoking cessation forums. The folks at QuitSmokingMessageBoard.com • Index page are rampantly anti-nicotine and do provide a monitored "SOS" board for those who feel they are about to "slip."

If your key issue is to quit smoking tobacco cigarettes, we can help you here. Most of us here tried for decades to give up nicotine, but we kept getting sick. This is why we find e-cigarettes such a miracle. We have (finally!) stopped smoking tobacco, but not have not been forced to pay for our physical health by sacrificing our cognitive and emotional health.

Maybe we all "deserve" to be happy without nicotine, but if your neurotransmitters are out of whack, that isn't likely to happen. These are the kinds of problems that aren't cured. They are kept under control with one type or another of medication.

If they are only out of whack in one way -- say that you have "endogenous depression" -- then you might be able to survive without nicotine if your depression is adequately controlled by antidepresssant medication. It has worked for some people. But 2 out of 3 people taking an antidepressant still have some symptoms of depression.

If you have multiple neurotransmitter problems -- say depression and/or anxiety plus attention deficits -- then you are looking at treating each condition with separate prescription meds, many of which carry a lot more side effects than nicotine delivered cleanly (without the tobacco smoke junk).

Nicotine is not "evil." Nicotine, per se, is relatively benign -- not much worse than caffeine. Personally I greatly prefer nicotine to taking Ritilin and anti-anxiety meds.

If you were able to quit smoking tobacco using the e-cigarette before, you likely can do it again. If you need help with that, let us know.

If you like, check my blog: The Truth About Nicotine

 

[whistlrr]

Don't accidentaly do a 'psyche' on yourself. Human beings are funny things, we're naturally sort of 'oppositional' (even to ourselves!)

I'll give you two other examples/analogies of what I think you might be accidentally doing to yourself:

Ever had to be up and alert early in the morning for something really super important and knew you had to sleep, knew it was critical that you got good sleep the night before, but there you are, laying with your eyes nearly bulged open, wide awake, going "oh my god I'm awake oh crap I NEED to SLEEP I need to be sleeping now but I' wide freaking AWAKE oh man oh man!"?

or if I said to you right now: don't think about your tongue, whatever you do, do not think about your tongue and how it feels in your mouth right now (I would suppose on reading this that finding a sudden awareness of how your tongue feels in your mouth is exactly what you did)

Maybe if you just tell yourself it doesn't matter if you smoke or not and just mix in e-cigs and/or snus (snus is a pretty amazing thing, you should check it out too I think), just really relax and let yourself wander and explore, take the pressure off yourself

incidentally if you ever get into that "I need to be sleeping but I'm not oh holy crap mother of god WHY am I still AWAKE?!" thing ever again, you can remind yourself that at least laying down resting is good for you and is nearly as good as sleeping.

 

[frankie1]

THAT is an excellent point whistlrr.....wonder if that is why I am having such a problem...LOL

 

[phillyd]

Don't accidentaly do a 'psyche' on yourself. Human beings are funny things, we're naturally sort of 'oppositional' (even to ourselves!)

I'll give you two other examples/analogies of what I think you might be accidentally doing to yourself:

Ever had to be up and alert early in the morning for something really super important and knew you had to sleep, knew it was critical that you got good sleep the night before, but there you are, laying with your eyes nearly bulged open, wide awake, going "oh my god I'm awake oh crap I NEED to SLEEP I need to be sleeping now but I' wide freaking AWAKE oh man oh man!"?

or if I said to you right now: don't think about your tongue, whatever you do, do not think about your tongue and how it feels in your mouth right now (I would suppose on reading this that finding a sudden awareness of how your tongue feels in your mouth is exactly what you did)

Maybe if you just tell yourself it doesn't matter if you smoke or not and just mix in e-cigs and/or snus (snus is a pretty amazing thing, you should check it out too I think), just really relax and let yourself wander and explore, take the pressure off yourself

incidentally if you ever get into that "I need to be sleeping but I'm not oh holy crap mother of god WHY am I still AWAKE?!" thing ever again, you can remind yourself that at least laying down resting is good for you and is nearly as good as sleeping.

Oh my God!!!! Please foregive me for laughing my ... off but you just described me to a T. I do agree with you 100%. If you think too much and obsess over 1 thing over and over you will send yourself into a panic attack. Its not worth beating yourself up over.

I've come to the conclusion that coffee and Vaping my but off are the culprits of my insomnia so I will eventually find a balance and everything will be ok.MOST important though is the fact that no matter what I am not going to pick up a cigarette.
I have been smoke free for just 11 days now and I feel great about myself and that self loathing depression has gone away because I finally broke out of that prison of 27yrs. I dont ever want to look back.

I was so apprehensive about letting go of smokes and just cut down the first month I had my E-cig. Finally the first day of Nov. I decided screw it I'm not going to buy anymore smokes and that was that. I didnt even plan on quitting that day. I just new that I had to trust in this e-cig sooner or later so I;m glad I did.

It hasnt been bad at all. Not what I expected. I thought I was going to get all of the typacle withdrawals but nothing came.

Its scary that it is so easy for me. Just believe it will work and it will
Good Luck Phil