Summary
Is it ok to self medicate ADHD with 12mg of nicotine when needing to focus?
If yes, could you recommend a product like the blu (small and simple)?
If no, why and other options?
Is it ok to self medicate with 12mg of nicotine? I just turned 19. I'm self diagnosed (99.9% sure) as gifted with ADHD inattentive. Also, I've been struggling with depression for 4 years (my daddy passing pushed me deeper into it), and I've never seen a doctor for it (I don't need to). I can't cause my family anymore trouble. I'm a ....... child, and I try to stay away from people for fear of ruining their lives. God hates me (why else would He separate daddy's little girl from her daddy), but I know I can't kill myself until I pay my mom back for raising me. She had me in her early 20s and just got her degree a few years ago in criminal justice, but its too late to do anthing with it. She payed for my very expensive private school (10 years, though I got the last free for having the highest GPA the year before I graduated) and now my very expensive private university (biomedical engineering major). The problem now is I don't think I'll ever be able to pay her back (getting my degree and working with it), but I have to; I've cause too much heartache. My giftedness compensated for my ADHD in grade school. Plus, I just carried all school stuff with me at all times (still do); it solved a lot of my forgetfullness for the most part (I still have to ask a classmate for something sometimes). But now, I'm stuggling. I quit all extra curricular (more like I missed every meeting) but that just gave me more time to do nothing. Getting to class? No problem. I have multiple alarms preset to signal what I should be doing (waking up, actually getting up, going in the shower, etc). In-class assignments and tests can be tricky. If I enjoy the classes, my attention could be held for hours. If the class is just alright or I don't like the subject, my attention wanders even if I try to pay attention. Tests aren't that bad. I usually catch myself and have enough time to finish. Out of class, I can't focus to study. I've never had to study in high school (though I do know how) because of homework. Now, most classes require studying and I can't focus. Though, I don't have to study math; I get it when the teacher teaches it, and I enjoy the homework so I can do that easy (I took calc and statistics last term, and I got over 100 in both classes). I probably gave more info than necessary, but I wanted you guys to know the story as well as possible, though I left out a lot (I just looked at the time. It took me 2 hours to write this; kept daydreaming -_-).
Now, the questions. Is it ok to use an ecig with 12mg of nicotine to study? I don't need help with my depression; I deserve that. I just want to be able to focus better. I don't have friends (because for years whenever they call, I ignore it. Now, they just don't call, though one texted me a couple days ago because we went out a month ago; I have to make my family think I'm normal) so I only go out maybe 2,3 times a year and only in the summer when I'm home from school. Ideally, it would be used academically, not socially. I've never smoked, unless you call second hand smoking smoking. My mom smokes still but bought the blu (she doesn't use it -_-), though I don't know much about it. Funny thing, I knew about it before she did. Do you know any device that's small, simple and, good quality? I really like the blu 100 but everyone says blu's not good. If you don't think nicotine will help, can you say why and provide another option?
Thank you
Is it ok to self medicate ADHD with 12mg of nicotine when needing to focus?
If yes, could you recommend a product like the blu (small and simple)?
If no, why and other options?
Is it ok to self medicate with 12mg of nicotine? I just turned 19. I'm self diagnosed (99.9% sure) as gifted with ADHD inattentive. Also, I've been struggling with depression for 4 years (my daddy passing pushed me deeper into it), and I've never seen a doctor for it (I don't need to). I can't cause my family anymore trouble. I'm a ....... child, and I try to stay away from people for fear of ruining their lives. God hates me (why else would He separate daddy's little girl from her daddy), but I know I can't kill myself until I pay my mom back for raising me. She had me in her early 20s and just got her degree a few years ago in criminal justice, but its too late to do anthing with it. She payed for my very expensive private school (10 years, though I got the last free for having the highest GPA the year before I graduated) and now my very expensive private university (biomedical engineering major). The problem now is I don't think I'll ever be able to pay her back (getting my degree and working with it), but I have to; I've cause too much heartache. My giftedness compensated for my ADHD in grade school. Plus, I just carried all school stuff with me at all times (still do); it solved a lot of my forgetfullness for the most part (I still have to ask a classmate for something sometimes). But now, I'm stuggling. I quit all extra curricular (more like I missed every meeting) but that just gave me more time to do nothing. Getting to class? No problem. I have multiple alarms preset to signal what I should be doing (waking up, actually getting up, going in the shower, etc). In-class assignments and tests can be tricky. If I enjoy the classes, my attention could be held for hours. If the class is just alright or I don't like the subject, my attention wanders even if I try to pay attention. Tests aren't that bad. I usually catch myself and have enough time to finish. Out of class, I can't focus to study. I've never had to study in high school (though I do know how) because of homework. Now, most classes require studying and I can't focus. Though, I don't have to study math; I get it when the teacher teaches it, and I enjoy the homework so I can do that easy (I took calc and statistics last term, and I got over 100 in both classes). I probably gave more info than necessary, but I wanted you guys to know the story as well as possible, though I left out a lot (I just looked at the time. It took me 2 hours to write this; kept daydreaming -_-).
Now, the questions. Is it ok to use an ecig with 12mg of nicotine to study? I don't need help with my depression; I deserve that. I just want to be able to focus better. I don't have friends (because for years whenever they call, I ignore it. Now, they just don't call, though one texted me a couple days ago because we went out a month ago; I have to make my family think I'm normal) so I only go out maybe 2,3 times a year and only in the summer when I'm home from school. Ideally, it would be used academically, not socially. I've never smoked, unless you call second hand smoking smoking. My mom smokes still but bought the blu (she doesn't use it -_-), though I don't know much about it. Funny thing, I knew about it before she did. Do you know any device that's small, simple and, good quality? I really like the blu 100 but everyone says blu's not good. If you don't think nicotine will help, can you say why and provide another option?
Thank you
