Why I find it hard to be called a "Christian"

[luceblueboy]

Now don't get me wrong, I fully consider myself a Christ follower. In fact, my vocation is a youth pastor. I've worked in four churches as either an intern or a youth pastor. In each of those churches I have experienced severe backstabbing by the leadership to the point that I was cut from my last two churches due to corruption and jealousy. I left peacefully (which took a lot of help from God) and am back with my in laws. I see these pastors and people that decided to cut me still in leadership even though they lied to the congregation and continue to lead as a politician rather than a servant leader that Christ was. This breaks my heart. My wife and I have only been married a little over a year and already been through two churches in which we didn't do anything wrong (I would be the first to admit I messed up). What's hardest for me now is attending any church because I know too much behind the scenes issues. Heck, maybe I'll start a church where we all vape together! Anyway, I just wanted to share a little bit so everyone could know me better. Hopefully I'll get a new job soon!

 

[blondeambition3]

Nice to meet you luceblueboy...... I can certainly feel and understand your frustration about your Church. I'll pray the Holy Spirit leads you where He needs you to be.... perhaps that 'vaping church' you want to start that I'd be delighted (and honored) to be a card carrying Member..
Welcome to the Christian Vapers Forum.... Where it's "all things Jesus, all the time"....

 

[angelique510]

Hi Luceblueboy and welcome. Where in Ohio are you? I was born and raised in Canton.

When asked my religion, I will often say "Christian - but not one of those" which usually gets a chuckle, because I think we all have known those types. It was that type of "Christian" that kept me from accepting the faith for so long. I figured any God whose people were like that was not a God worth worshiping. I still can't use the King James Bible, because that was always the version they quoted when they were "bible-thumping."

It took me a year or so to be able to address God by the name Jesus. The name left a bad taste in my mouth because of the people that would preach about "Jesus" < horrid televangelist accent implied> , and then say such vile things with their next breath. I used the name Yeshua. (isn't that what Mary yelled when dinner was ready? LOL) He always answered when I used that name in prayer, so I believe it was OK with Him.

I read a fiction book once, set in an alternate history France. There was this sect of people who called themselves "Yeshuites." I liked it. In my heart, that I was I call my faith. Unfortunately, I have to use the word "Christian" (but not one of those) if I want anyone else to know what I'm talking about.

A preacher I listen to sometimes, Jessee DuPlantis, uses the word "Christ-ian" (pronounced with a long I sound) to differentiate between what he is and those kind of "Christians." I like that too.

You know how upset you and I are about it. Just imagine how upset He is about it. After all, it is His Name they are taking in vain.

We'll pray for you and God will send you to the right local church when He wants you to be there. He knew what BS you had to put up with at those churches, but He knew you could deal with it and He sent you there for a reason.

For now, welcome to our little CV Church here on ECF. We all have our warts, and we fight sometimes. We even chuck wood at each other occasionally But we love each other and inspire each other and do our best to glorify God in what we write here.

Be well,
~A

 

[UndercoverV]

luceblueboy, just sending a hug your way. As a child, I grew up in a very hateful, gossipy, backstabbing church that made me miserable. While going through ministerial training, my husband was exposed to all kinds of horrid treatment behind the scenes. It breaks my heart to hear anyone mistreated in any way where a ministry is involved. Even if there isn't another place in your world where you can find love, peace, and comfort, church should always represent that and so much more.

My husband and I founded a church over a decade ago. We have a fantastic congregation. I thank God that so many people have described our church as nothing like the others that they came from. They enjoy the sound doctrine. They feel welcomed and loved--even the ones who are behind the scenes with us.

Don't give up. Not all churches are like what you've been exposed to. There are churches out there that are genuinely doing what God has directed. I hope you and your wife find one soon.

 

[LisaLisa]

Heck, maybe I'll start a church where we all vape together!

Could this be what God is calling you to do? Think about it.

I have such a hard time with churches that I don't attend one because they (people) have been a stumbling block to me in the past. Now that I don't belong to a church, my relationship with Jesus is rock solid.

Could it be that He has something else in mind for you? Since you see the corruption, and it makes you sick, you're seeing it through His eyes. Allow Him to work in your life. These closed doors will lead to another one that He pushes wide open for you. Keep praying that His will be done and have faith that He is aware of everything.

He uses us where He sees fit, and obviously you are a willing good and faithful servant just waiting for your assignment from Him. Pray pray pray and allow Him to lead you where you will be most needed. He has plans for you, as long as you don't let these unfortunate experiences to sour your love or unravel your motivation to serve.

Be patient, faithful, and willing to do His will, whatever that may be.

I've known alot of pastors in my life, some good and some bad. Some started out good, but they let pride, power and ego creep in and take hold and corrupt their thinking. The Holy Spirit will not take a back seat to a man, it will probably just leave that place. For a church to be useful and full of the Holy Spirit, the pastor must be humble before Him and before his congregation as an example, willing and faithful to God to allow His will to be done there through constant prayer and self examination. If this is not done, the church just ends up like a corporation with the pastor as the CEO. These corporations will have alot to answer for as God doesn't take that lightly.

So, don't be disheartened, just be glad that you see it for what it really is, and are away from it. Keep on knocking, the door will open for you.

 

[Saintscruiser]

Our pastor used to say, "It's better to go to church with hypocrites than to hell with them!" I always liked that. Your situation is different. Scripture states that there will be a great falling away before the rapture and Tribulation in churches. Sounds like you were in the middle of a Pharisee type church, which isn't Jesus' church at all. I know it hurts. I was a faithful member to my church for many years, and when I got really bad in my disabilities, I never heard from anyone. That's when I needed them the most. I now don't go out very much and I haven't been to church in years. I was starving for spiritual food.....some meat and potatoes! So, the Lord led me to TBN and Dr. Adrian Rogers. He is now deceased, but is still impacting the world through the video's sermons. I watch Hal Lindsey every Friday night. But in your situation, wait on the Lord to guide you. He will always listen and care about you.

Now it also could be that you are in the middle of a spiritual warfare battle. satan can't hurt God, so he hurts those whom God loves. Is being a youth minister your livelihood? If not, have you thought about volunteering to help youth in your community? I'm just trying to come up with some ideas. Whichever way Jesus guides you, remember, He always has a reason. 'Trust in the Lord with all thine heart and lean not to thy own understanding. Follow Him in all thy ways and He will direct your path.' It's the waiting that is hard. Most humans aren't very patient, and I am all in the middle with that.

Of course, wood chucking is a great way to release that anxiety!