Virgin Vapor Support Group

[Running Wolf]

Larkfour Delete it or leave it, your choice and whatever you feel more comfortable with. Strength comes from knowing that we have a weakness and admitting it. By knowing we have flaws we are able to face them and become stronger. After all we are only human and none of us are perfect.

Wow gonna sounds like a shrink or AA meeting when I say this.... but you know you're going to have a stress trigger coming up with the holidays. Try to work through it without a cig, but know they are there if you do need them.

What I have found here is a true community. When you need a question answered folks are here. When you need some support folks are here.

"When you can't run, you crawl, and when you can't crawl - when you can't do that -- You find someone to carry you."

 

[kittypie]

Larkfour, just so you know...I still haven't put down the ciggies because one of my sisters is a diehard smoker (even after having a stroke last year) and she is temporarily living with me, and I just can't see quitting with a smoker still in the house. Once she moves out, I'll go full guns to vaping only. One of our sisters quit entirely and is now down to vaping 6 mg and I see 0 nic in her future. Both my live-in sister and I smoke AND vape. Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't post on here since I still smoke...there, my dirty little secret is OUT.

I hope you'll come back in and tell us how you're doing! (((hugs)))

 

[dclee78]

I've been gone for a while and I'm glad you decided to take my suggestion and make a sweet tea. I'm curious to see how it tastes.

 

[Larkfour]

Thanks for the encouragement everyone. Today is a bad, bad, bad day. This is the day my maternal grandfather died; two weeks after my father died unexpectedly on my parent's wedding anniversary. We were all reeling from the loss of my father when the phone rang late at night. I answered on the downstairs phone at the same time my mother answered the upstairs phone. I have never run so fast in my life, nor heard such awful wailings of grief.

MN was having one of the worst ice storms ever and my mom needed to get to her father. I couldn't even think, just react and flew out the door running down the street to bang on a neighbors door. I needed someone to watch my 2 month old, 2 year old and 10 year old.
My husband drove us to my mother's father and we found he had choked to death on a malted milk ball, in bed. The night was so bad that when the mortuary came to pick up the body they couldn't use the hearse. They packed my grandfather off into the night in the back of a 4 wheel drive pick-up.

My mother's sisters, so distraught over their loss, were non-functional and by the time everything was all said and done, with their bickering over who would do what, we ended up having to put my father's shoes on my grandfather.

Poor Grandma, we had the funeral on her birthday, Dec. 10th, and stress being what it is she had a heart attack, at my mom's house after the funeral. She didn't die that night but I think my mom just about lost her mind, with the repeat of a loved one in her kitchen with paramedics.

When we were able to make the 3 hour drive back to our home, to pick up Christmas presents and have my oldest participate in her Christmas Concert - we were robbed while at the Concert. Yee Haw...more fun. NOT. They ripped through all our presents, stole everything ... I felt soooo violated and at the same time so out of touch. When the police arrived I offered to make them coffee, in a zombiesk daze. They actually asked my husband what was wrong with me. He explained.

That night we lay on our first floor apartment carpet, watching out the sliding door as the SWAT team brought in dogs to track the theives. Ended up finding out we were robbed by two serial rapists! They robbed and raped 14 known times before us. We were the only ones who were not tied up and raped.

(All of this happened years ago but it comes up and goes round and round)

So I've smoked two cigarettes today, both while talking to my mom on the phone today. She is heading out to her girlfriend's who is dying from emphysema and her friend may not make it through today. I think I'll go smoke another cigarette.

 

[Running Wolf]

Both my live-in sister and I smoke AND vape. Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't post on here since I still smoke...there, my dirty little secret is OUT.

I hope you'll come back in and tell us how you're doing! (((hugs)))

No judgement from me and I get the feeling that goes for 99% of the other folks here as well.

 

[rootwhacker]

What a horrible day to remember, Larkfour. I can't imagine what you went through, not even close. My prayers are with you.

 

[Larkfour]

Kittypie: great big super duper hugs at you.

 

[Cookster]

It's unimaginable the pain you must be feeling hun...don't you DARE beat yourself up over 2 measly cigarettes!! Just try and be kind to yourself and your loved ones, and know that there are people thinking of you and wishing you well.

 

[Running Wolf]

Damn, *hugs*.... If that's not a reason to smoke due to stress/memories I don't know what is. Think I'd have to be getting snookered with a pint of vodka from the stress.

One of your relatives was watching out for your family that night your place got broken into. It's hard to say that it could have been worse but if you guys had been home it would have been.

 

[Larkfour]

My tale isn't finished, as much as I would like it to be. I am so use to stuffing everything down with cigarettes. I don't share. I'm use to marching on, but I need to learn new skills so here is the rest.

After the robbery we had to drive the 3 hours back to my mom's.
Grandma made it out of the hospital and was with us for the Christmas from hell.

When I finally returned home, with my children, I needed a safe place to grieve, and I didn't have one. We started looking for a house and finally found one, and put an offer in. It was now spring and once again I returned to my mom's, for the Easter holiday. We got a call from my mom's sisters about Grandma not feeling well and went down to see her.

When my mom and I got there, Grandma was sitting in her chair saying she wanted to go to the hospital. The other sisters were arguing about whether or not to call an ambulance, due to the cost. Grandma's hands were blue halfway up to her elbows, I lifted her pant leg and she was blue halfway up her leg. I thought I would lose my mind with their bickering and shouted, "Call the ....ing ambulence - she is not getting enough oxygen." They shut up fast, and looked shocked I had spoken up, bad niece!!

Grandma ended up dying in the hospital, and although my husband drove the 3 hours back and forth to work he had to take off more days for family funerals. (His mom had a heart attack and died the previous November.)

To add insult to injury, while we were at Grandma's funeral some numbskull broke into our car, threw all my daughters schoolbooks out and lit them on fire. Why???

Back home again it's the day before we were to close on the house and my husband lost his job. His boss didn't believe that all the days off were for funerals. Thanks a**hole.

The cherry on the top of all this: All of the events conspired to cause "stress induced menopause" and I was not able to have any more children.

This last part of the story gets all confangled up on Grandma's birthday. Dec. 10th.

 

[Larkfour]

I will say that when this many things happen to you in a short period of time, some people avoid you; they think you have something that might be catchy.

There were blessings in all of this: we were not home on the night of the robbery, and we found a better house after my husband found a MUCH better job, which he still has today. I also became a much more empathetic and compassionate person.

 

[Deborahsu]

Oh, honey! You just do what you need to do to take care of YOU, and we'll just keep on loving you through it. Deal? Smoking is the least of it all at this time of year for you, this year. Next year, it probably won't cross your mind to light up.

 

[Running Wolf]

My tale isn't finished, as much as I would like it to be. I am so use to stuffing everything down with cigarettes. I don't share. I'm use to marching on, but I need to learn new skills so here is the rest.

Sometimes it's easier to let go when you have a mask on in front of people you don't know Like on the net, you don't have to worry if you look embarrassed or feel self conscious. I hate sounding like a shrink but sometimes when you let something like that out it lets you work though it so it doesn't have as strong of a hold on you.

What a year from hell. Cluster f'd. And Murphy's Law says that right when things were approaching getting back to normal is when life turned around and gave it to you guys again. The only goof thing about bad times like that is that they show us that we can handle more than we thought we could. They also allow us to be thankful for the good times. They make the good times that much more better cause we know that life can be hell.

Oh, honey! You just do what you need to do to take care of YOU, and we'll just keep on loving you through it. Deal? Smoking is the least of it all at this time of year for you, this year. Next year, it probably won't cross your mind to light up.

Have to agree with Deborahsu there. Up till now smoking has been your coping mechanism. The object of our addiction is usually our coping mechanism. Drugs addicts it's the drugs, drinkers it's drinking, smokers it's smoking. Hopefully by this time next year you'll have given up on smoking completely.

Frankly after a year like that I'd seriously be on the verge of a nervous breakdown. Seriously would either have to go a psych ward or in a cardiac ICU for a heart attack. All that happening in just the span of a year is enough to stress anyone to the breaking point.

 

[Annette Rogers]

My goodness, Larkfour, what an awful series of events! I almost had to go and have a cigarette just after reading it! Be kind to yourself through this time. Anyone who went through that would have a hard time this time of year. Try to be gentle with yourself. Know our hearts are with you! Big big hugs to you, Larkfour!

 

[kittypie]

I will say that when this many things happen to you in a short period of time, some people avoid you; they think you have something that might be catchy.

I also became a much more empathetic and compassionate person.

A-MEN to that sistah. If I were you, I'd be a little scared of December, too! It still surprises me the stuff we can go through and make it out alive. Maybe one of these days, I'll tell my tale of horror; for now, please know I can relate completely. But hey, we could have turned into bitter old hags. Now we're just awesome old hags who have a ciggie now and then

(((((hugs)))))