@whokrz: Watching with interest. I own 10-12 of your tips and subscribed to this
thread in anticipation...... I left this forum a while back and don't get here very often....
(aside) Hi, tmcase! I've missed you and hope you are doing well.
Anyway - I have dipped a toe in lapidary, cut numerous stones. My dad was an excellent one. I found that metal (mostly silver; also copper and brass, and lately blacksmithing) is my thing and
buy cut stones from other people now.
I have a list of abrasives appropriate for various kinds of stones (on paper). It varies greatly according to the stone, as you have begun to notice, I'm sure. I will have to dig it up but can scan it and get it to you if you like; it's very helpful.
If you are using carbide tools for grinding you will probably wear them out very quickly. For small objects, I have found that various shaped diamond tools (bits) in my flex shaft drill, with the bit partially submerged in water as a cooling lubricant, work best for carving. Keep in mind I have not done a lot of this. And---it has to be followed up with the appropriate abrasives to get a polish; tin oxide, aluminum oxide....whatever is appropriate for the given stone, and it matters.
I have a (inexpensive) holder for my flex shaft that allows me to use both hands when grinding whatever. I also looked at Kingsley North, very reputable and fairly priced lapidary supplier and saw this:
Flexade for BL Lathe - Foredom - Kingsley North, which allows you to turn a lathe into a flex shaft......not sure if that is something that might help you. Regardless, they have anything you would need to cut/polish any stone.
Not trying to sway you into buying more stuff---but with a flex shaft (or even a corded Dremel) you can use any type of grinding/polishing/buffing wheel/bit/tip you can imagine. You can get paste of various abrasives and use it on all kinds of these attachments to get the final finish you need.
Also, please check out this forum, if you haven't already:
Lapidaryforum.net - Index
There are people there that do carving and also a ton of info on lapidary techniques.
Let me know if you'd like that list of abrasives.