Need Advice, Girlfriend and my vaping!!

[Radar2013]

So like most people who vape I started to quit my smoking habit. I am now at this point 4-5 months clean of cigarettes, and my girlfriend is as happy as can be about this. The problem has now arose for her that my vaping has become not only an expensive habit, but could also be potentially dangerous for my health. Now I had eventually planned to just quit everything all together, but I don't feel it will be any time soon. I'm just more or less worried that if I don't quit soon enough for her it will lead to problems in our relationship, and I don't know what to do about it. any advice or help would be greatly appreciated and I just don't want her to worry anymore.

1 10ml bottle is the equivalent to 6 packs of cigarettes. depending on where you are getting your juices that's $3.99 for 6 pks. 15ml is 9.5 packs at 7.99 a bottle. Do you see where I am going with this?

Health wise. Not only is it healthier for you to vape but it is for her as well. There is no second hand smoke. The difference between a hit off of a Vape Cig and a regular cig is this. A vape cig is Nicotine. The exhale does have traces of Nic in it but recent studies have shown that Nicotine is not a major cancer causing ingredient. A regular cig has over 4000 poisons including rat poison. Do you see where I am going with this?

vaping is a delivery system for you nicotine intake. It allows you to take in your desired nicotine WITHOUT all of the harmful chemicals associated with a regular cigarette. Are you breathing better, sleeping better, sexual appetite better, smelling better, feeling better since you started Vaping? Of course you are...

Nicotine is in a lot of foods we eat, a lot of things we drink, a lot of make-up women wear. Your girl-friend has to know that she cant have her cake and eat it to.

I smoked for 30 yrs before I started Vaping. And before I started I was up to 2 packs a day. I have been Vaping for 80 days, $803.00 saved. 2600 analogs avoided. Each week I took the cost of what I would spend on a carton of cigarettes and put it in a jar. This past Friday I took half of that and took my 9 yr. old daughter to the opening day of the state fair and we had a blast. I had more fun watching her and her fun that she had was beyond compare. She had this fun because she didn't have to wait on me to smoke a cigarette, she didn't have to wait on me to catch my breath, she didn't have to wait on me to hit my inhaler which I have not hit but 3 times in the last 2.5 months and those were due to high humidity. And we were at the state fair for a total of 10 hrs.

Just saying.....

 

[kristin]

Well I smoked for 3 years, and was smoking half a pack to a pack a day. I tried getting that vaping is a much less dangerous habit but she's really worried because no definitive testing has been done so the long term effects are unknown and it scares her. So she tells me that I can't be doing it for forever and a day.

First, you stated that you don't plan on vaping long term, so long-term worries would be pointless? E-cigarettes have been on the market worldwide for going on 10 years now and there haven't been any significant health issues reported. That at least gives us a good idea that no one is having problems up to 10 years of vaping.

Second, are you ready to go cold turkey? Because that is essentially what happens when you quit vaping. If you aren't mentally ready (meaning you actually WANT to, not that you think you should) then that will increase the risk of you relapsing to smoking. Is she confident about putting you at that risk? Vaping is like wearing seat belts - you have to keep doing it or your risk is increased. Does she only wear her seat belt when she is driving fast? Does she believe that people still die when they are wearing seat belts, so people should just quit driving because seat belts don't guarantee 100% safety?

E-cigarettes weren't designed for short-term use to wean off of nicotine, although some people try to use them that way. They were designed as a smoking replacement. For another analogy: fat-free, sugar free-ice cream wasn't designed to wean obese people off of ice cream altogether, it was designed as a replacement for fat-and-sugar laden ice cream.

 

[IMEDICx90]

is it costing you more then it did you smoking? if you say yes then i would say your buying way to many devices and way to many juices, i mean find a few juices you lie stick with those and only have one main unit and a backup. I'm not a nicotine vapor but so far I have spent less then $100 and this should last me 3 months at least what i have.
tell her well you could still be smoking and everyone knows that leads to cancer and its bad and smelly, now you smell good, your breath not stinky cloths not stinky how long you been together, maybe shes just looking for reasons to fight with you

there is only one thing that i have to disagree with......

I have spent more then i have saved but i also have bought stuff that i can rebuild and the supplies to do so. I have bought enough stuff to make my own juice and i even sell it on the side. Just because $100 got you through the worst of it and let you vape for 3 months doesnt mean its going to work for everyone. I pass no judgements one way or the other. realistically its everyones decision. But i will be the first to say that just because i have spent more then i would have smoking doesnt mean that in a few months i wont be back in the black.

not trying to be argumentative just putting in my .02 cents.

 

[TyPie]

Wow, some damn good vaping advice in here, but even BETTER relationship advice! (Maybe I'll use some of this....lol)

One piece rings true (no pun intended). Before you put a ring on that finger, make sure you have as many of these 'little details' ironed out (in other words, decide how big of a deal your vaping really is to her if you are going to continue), as these seemingly small disagreements can get much bigger and much worse.

*IF* you eventually decide that this relationship has no future and you really want to go out in STYLE, buy yourself a Provari, a couple of high-end rebuildables and a load of high end juices to go with the package. You'll blow the monthly budget completely, your soon to be ex will blow a gasket, and you will get your point across quite clearly.


All kidding aside (except the parts about the ring and the Provari......), you've gotten some great advice in this thread. (I know this because I didn't listen to ANY of it in some past relationships......I learned the HARD way, so to speak, but that's another thread entirely.....) It's maybe time to have 'THE TALK'.
Best of Luck with this.

 

[Glen Snyder]

Too old for that OP. My response?

Dear Jane,

I really enjoyed the time we had together.

Glen

 

[retired1]

 

[Signal30]

Okay I read the OP's thread a second time and my final opinion on it is, she is going to have to accept this dude for who he is or be a whipped dude with his bolas in her purse.

I've seen this many times and have experienced it personally. Trying to change someone to fit your vision of the "right person" always ends in disaster.

 

[DrApex]

It is one thing if she's genuinely concerned for your health. After all, you were a smoker.
Hopefully you have been showing some healthier signals in your body. Like perhaps a reduction in coughing? Or maybe a bit more energetic? Definitely a reduction in the stink factor?

You could point to these and help her see it is healthier than smoking. As to whether it is perfectly safe, I'm not sure. I tend to think the constant inhaling of any foreign substance (Nic, flavoring, whatever) is less healthy than no foreign substance.

That said, I can tell my health is in much better shape. Same with my mother in law who has been vaping for 3 months after smoke for 40+ years. Anyone who knows her can tell she is breathing much better, coughs way less and smells much better.

So whether vaping poses health risks or not is yet to be determined. As to whether most people see drastic reduction in negative health symptoms, there is little argument.

When I started vaping, my wife had some of the same concerns. When she asked when I would quit vaping after a couple of months, I told her I had no plans to. I enjoyed it as it was all the stuff I liked about smoking, and none of what I didn't.

After she got used to the idea, she has been very supportive. Then after I got her mom off cigarettes and on to vaping, she thinks I'm a king. Same with my father in law.

At first glance, vaping looks really weird. Even after I'd been vaping for months, seeing someone else vape struck me as odd. So I don't blame others if they don't immediately think vaping is the coolest thing in the world. It is becoming a bit more mainstream.

So only you can read your girlfriend. Is she legitimately concerned for your health and wallet? Is the overly about everything? Is the controlling in lots of ways? Hopefully you can have a rational conversation with her about vaping and your enjoyment of the hobby. If she's worth having around, she'll eventually come around.






Sent from my mobile. Ignore typos please.

 

[HauntedMyst]

Think about how many different flavors of ejuice there are out there that you haven't tried yet. It's only been less than 4 months, there is a whole lot more to explore! Fruits, Drinks, Candies, Tobaccos! Then think about the cool stainless steel stuff that will last a life time! Even if you went bonkers, it's unlikely you'd spend more than $5 to $10 grand on vaping in the next 30 years.

Then think about the number of date-able women out there! There are 3.5 billion of them! Minus the old, married, homely, over weight or sexually different from you and there are still millions of them out there for you to try! A girlfriend/wife can cost you hundreds of thousands over the next 30 years. Do you want one that is a hyper neurotic nagging headache? Hell no. Find one that is supportive and low maintenance.

Sit her down and explain to her it's really all in the math and to be quiet and get you a beer while you refill your atty.

Your welcome in advance,

Dr. Love

 

[ZNinja]

Oh boy. My wife (then GF) tried changing me when we were younger. Once she gave up we have been much happier. But make no mistake...YOU are the resistance. If you can't or won't resist then all hope is lost. Oh, I almost forgot. Iron this out before you get married. You want the rules defined before you start playing the game or else you will lose every time.

 

[MikenGA]

I suspect most of us offering 'relationship advice', are either sharing based on our own successes, or the hind-sight of what we should have done (and would do next time).

I'm also very confident that in spite of our 'tongue in cheek comments', EACH of us really, Really, REALLY wants the very BEST for you, TrveKvltKing, in both your relationship AND your vape!

{{{grouphug}}}

 

[Signal30]

The average divorce retainer is $2500.00 to $3000.00. That's just the starting line. I just wanted to throw that out there.

 

[Vapocalypse]

So like most people who vape I started to quit my smoking habit. I am now at this point 4-5 months clean of cigarettes, and my girlfriend is as happy as can be about this. The problem has now arose for her that my vaping has become not only an expensive habit, but could also be potentially dangerous for my health. Now I had eventually planned to just quit everything all together, but I don't feel it will be any time soon. I'm just more or less worried that if I don't quit soon enough for her it will lead to problems in our relationship, and I don't know what to do about it. any advice or help would be greatly appreciated and I just don't want her to worry anymore.

I would suggest, SPOILER ALERT THIS IS GOING TO BE HARSH...if she's going to give you grief about something this little already and it's going to make you live longer...get rid of the controlling GF or grow a pair and get you a loving Pit Bull for companinonship...or tell her fine, youll quit vaping and come back from the store with a pack of cigarettes and lay the cigs and your tasty vaps on the table and tell her to choose which one she will allow you to do and then not say another word about it...ever.

But thats just me...sorry I cant stand these type of women!!!

Best of luck to you...your going to need it if you dont stand up to her now...she will always be bossy / controlling

 

[Cactus Breath]

Dump your gf and vape on

On another internet forum I'm a member of, the stock answer for relationship questions is "Just break up". Although it's curt and sometimes said tongue-in-cheek, I often think people would be better off in the long term to heed the advice.

I switched to vaping for my health (among other reasons). If my wife started giving me grief about it, I'd tell her (in so many words) to go pound sand. Either that and/or go buy a pack of smokes, sit right next to her and chain smoke them, blowing the smoke right in her face the entire time, then ask her if that's any better. Fortunately, she's ecstatically happy that I'm not smoking anymore and is entirely supportive of my vaping. She rolls her eyes at some of the purchases I make, but she also knows that's how I am about my hobbies (and yes, vaping has definitely become a hobby at this point, as it does for many).

The bottom line in our relationship is that neither of us tells the other what to do. She's not my mommy and I'm not her daddy. I made that very clear early in the relationship. We've been together for nearly 25 years, so it's obviously an understanding that works for both of us. I could never be in a relationship with a bossy nag who thought she was going to control me - it would end quickly, and probably not on amicable terms.

So yeah....needless to say, I'm not exactly Dr. Phil when it comes to dealing with relationship issues like this.

 

[FloydianSlip]

I guess I should consider myself lucky that my GF is a vaper and it was she that got me into this to get me off the tar sticks.

 

[Butters78]

I miss listening to that loveline show with Dr drew and Adam Carola. Adam would tell you to dump her ... lol.

 

[Maggiemw]

A little old lady chiming in here.

Possible dialogue:

Her: So when are you going to stop that dangerous vaping?

You: When I decide to. Think it'll rain tonight?

Her: It's the exact same addiction.

You: Yeah, minus 3996 other chemicals. Seen any good DVDs recently? Anything interesting happen at the office?

Her: It drives me crazy to see you wasting your money like that.

You: My job, my money, my health, my adult rational decision. Pizza or Pad Thai?

My opinion? You have a burgeoning control freak on your hands. If you like/want/need to be controlled, fine. If, however, you think it's your life, your money, your health, your hobby, and it's important to you...you're going to end up in a power struggle over your own existence.

Giving in now to get some peace and quiet bodes ill for the future.

 

[schweater]

I miss listening to that loveline show with Dr drew and Adam Carola. Adam would tell you to dump her ... lol.

now i feel old...I remember when it was Dr. Drew and Poorman....then Dr. drew and Riki Rachtman...oy vey

 

[Vapeman12]

I miss listening to that loveline show with Dr drew and Adam Carola. Adam would tell you to dump her ... lol.

I remember that show, well I used to watch it on tv MTV i think, then it used to come on radio I used to listen to it every night my gf at the time hated it LOL

 

[Myrany]

I remember when there was no MTV. YIKES I am old!