My husband thinks I'm being stupid

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757girl

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I joined this forum for 2 reasons just 2 days ago because for one I think the government is trying to kill us with these new FSC analogs and I was feeling sick from them and I knew I wasn't fully ready to quit and 2 because I have a 2 year old son whom I take care of by myself since day one and I want to be around to see him grow up. I am only 22 so I feel as if I am still young and I want to live a more healthier life style. My fiance is an ex-smoker and he is helping me through this. And to be honest if it wasn't for my loved ones helping me I would probably keep it on. Some people just don't understand especially if they have never smoked before.

Sit down and talk to your husband and even show him these forums if you have to try to get some point across. I understand you when you say it's an erotic/exotic feeling because I feel the same way. I think someone mention the HTM ( Hand to Mouth) situation where that movement is just needed. If you really feel as if you need that interaction try the e-cig with NO NICOTINE. I think (don't quote me because everyone is different) you can see if it's actually the HTM need or an actually nicotine need when you try one without.

But I am new as you are new and everyone is or has went or is going through the things you are going through or are feeling. In the 2 days I have been here I have learned some and am still learning :) But the support here seems awesome. So between the lovely members here maybe they can help you with ways to talk to your husband or some other ways to deal with it.

I wish you the best and keep us updated :)
 

Belletrist

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strawberry, i haven't been smoke free, but i just got my first order form vapor4life today--and i too *love* the act of smoking. the smoke, flicking my lighter, feeling the pack in my jacket pocket, the smoke itself, etc. etc. etc. ad nauseum.

have vaped the FIRST time today and for me? so far? it's absolutely as good as smoking. that doesn't mean i won't have cravings still but... i think you'll love it. going with 0 nic is such a good idea, too!
 

Circumspice

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Hey Strawberry, best of luck to you! Everybody has their cigarette stories... here's mine. I bought my last carton on the same day I ordered my first ecig starter kit. I was shocked when it arrived a mere 2 days later! So, I had to finish the carton off. (NO! I couldn't just toss it or give it away) So, I vaped casually while I finished off my last carton. When I finished my last analog cig, I almost immediately went into Seperation Anxiety. I freaked out a little. I was already vaping, so there was no nicotine withdrawal... I just couldn't seem to let go of the desire to go out and buy another pack or carton of cigs. It took me a few days to get over that desire. Things went well for 3 weeks, then I found a carton that I had misplaced during my recent move... I fell off the wagon and just had to smoke them... I felt like a such a loser. However, when I finally finished that carton, I didn't feel the anxiety that I felt the first time. That tells me that I have somewhat retrained some of my old responses. Maybe you can too.
 

C-kool Dad '09

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Strawberry - you are, "your own person" - no one else can tell you how to feel or act or react. If your 'cravings' (mental or otherwise) are so great then join us vapers, but by all means never go back to REAL cigarettes cuz you know YOU wouldn't feel good about (it) yourself. I have every confidence in you and thanks for your thoughts.
 

Mister

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Please take NanoVapor's post with a grain of salt. He is partially right, in that addicted smokers usually do become physically addicted to the actions associated with smoking, and in that for some addicted smokers that is the only part of the addiction which becomes a very strong addiciton.

But his statements that "It is actually the physical behavioral process that is what you become addicted to", "Even in the absence of the chemical re-enforcer, simply performing these behavioral processes provides a similar level of satisfaction.", and "you can still achieve satisfaction by performing the behavioral element, even in the absence of the chemical re-enforcer" are wrong in their implication that this is true for everyone. It is only true for some people.

For many people there is also a direct requirement for one or more of the alkaloids in tobacco, the dominant one being nicotine. For anyone with a general interest in the chemistry and processes involved in cigarette addiction, as far as it is understood these days (which remains far from complete), chapters 2, 3, 4 in the following report may be of interest: http://www.rcplondon.ac.uk/pubs/contents/bbc2aedc-87f7-4117-9ada-d7cdb21d9291.pdf. I'm far from understanding everything there but what I do comprehend I find very interesting.

Strawberry72, it is quite possible that you'll find that vaping zero-nicotine liquid satisfies you and if it does, great! The activity of "smoking" may well be what you crave in a real and physical sense as NanoVapor describes.

If you find that the act isn't enough don't despair. It seems that some people's brains are better off with nicotine and that in some cases this is a permanent condition where no length of abstinence will result in the brain returning to a "normal" (i.e. not being better off with nicotine) condition. If this is true in your case it isn't necessarily a big deal. Nicotine in itself is at most just a tiny bit harmful as long as you don't use more than your body wants. In some people it seems to even be beneficial.

I want to throw in one note of caution before you start vaping with nicotine. If this is indeed what your body wants then once you start using it you are likely to end up wanting it all day every day. When you first reintroduce it to your body your brain may go "awesome, I feel right again." But then when it leaves your body you'll really be wanting it now that you've felt right again. And it leaves the body rather quickly, resulting in withdrawal symptoms not very long after the last dose. So if you start using nicotine you should prepare for wanting it on a regular and frequent basis. Buy extra e-cig parts and extra juice, you don't want to run out. I don't have a problem with this at all. I enjoy vaping and am willing to be dependent on it because it makes me "right". And you can vape in your house and car without causing any problem, so it is not as inconvenient a dependence as an addiction to cigarettes. Nonetheless I think you should know this going in because for you the tradeoff between becoming dependent on this vs. your ongoing fight against your cravings may be different.

Again, a quick disclaimer. This addiction is remarkably complex. The above (needing nicotine at short regular intervals) isn't true for everyone all the time. Some heavily addicted smokers have "trained" their brain (rewired it) so that they are ok for long intervals every day without a cigarette. E.g. four hour work segments. This might be related to the mechanism which allows smokers to sleep through the night. Still, for most people, a regular supply of nicotine through the day becomes necessary.

A couple of other notes about starting up with nic: At the start your brain is likely to reorganize a bit when getting it again. You'll probably have to adjust your nicotine level for a while until it stabilizes. And I suggest trying flavorless liquid as well as trying some flavor(s.) In your case it seems possible that you'll enjoy unflavored as much as flavored (or not, you may still be wired to enjoy tobacco flavors.) If unflavored proves as enjoyable as any other vapor, you might as well go that way and not be inhaling (or exhaling) any flavor additives at all.

If vaping liquid which contains nicotine still doesn't eliminate your demon, again do not despair. ("Synthesis", I'm wondering if you may be such a case.) Some of us have found that we can quit smoking by using high levels of nicotine via vaping but we're still far from "right" in our behavior and our ability to interact with the world at large. It turns out that there are a number of other alkaloids (nicotine is an alkaloid as are many other things which affect the brain) in cigarettes. There are at least 15, and 3 of those are known to be pharmacologically active. They are present in volume as about 5% of the alkaloids in cigarettes on average. (The other 95% is nicotine.) Although nicotine seems to be the primary or only physically addictive alkaloid for many people, some people seem to be strongly addicted to some of these alkaloids. And some people may be able to kick the addictions other than nicotine as long as they're getting the nicotine. Others seem strongly addicted, in some cases I think permanently, to others of those alkaloids. The good news is that these people can almost always be satisfied by using "snus", a Swedish form of pasteurised orally used non-messy tobacco.

Note that snus do contain some (much less than smoking, but more than vaping which doesn't contain these at all) of the harmful things we used to absorb from cigarettes. I don't think that people who can get "right" with vaping, with or without nicotine, should consider using snus.

One good thing about using snus to get the other alkaloids is that those alkaloids have a much longer half-life. I.e. they stay in the body much longer than nicotine. So someone using snus just for the other alkaloids (vs. someone using them for nicotine as well) may not need to use them non-stop. As with everything else about this addiction, the need varies. One snus a day might even be enough for some people.

If you want more detailed information about all of this a good thread to read is at http://www.e-cigarette-forum.com/forum/nicotine/44958-so-we-getting-we-not-nicotine.html. Way down in that thread it gets very interesting in the search for the "X factor" some people need which isn't in e-juice.

My own situation, which led to learning more about all this: I'm a forty year smoker. My last quit attempt was my longest at 23 months. In that quit (a cold turkey attempt) I never got past my first month in terms of severity of withdrawal symptoms. After 23 months I chose to smoke again to return to sanity. About five months ago I switched most of my habit/need to e-cigs. But I found myself needing a few cigarettes each day to stay ok. I've recently added 2 to 3 snus per day to my vaping and have now entirely stopped smoking without feeling the all too familiar (after my many attempts to quit) desparate need for "something." From what I've seen on these forums I'm a slightly outlying case but not an extreme one. Some people seem to be much more addicted to the "other" (non-nicotine) alkaloids in tobacco than to nicotine and for those individuals vaping nicotine doesn't come close to working. Fortunately they seem to be the exception.

Please do keep us posted on how it works out Strawberry72!
 

Strawberry72

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Ok.... My Vapor King came today. I'm THRILLED with it! It feels even more like smoking than I had hoped! I have post traumatic stress and it's been being triggered a LOT lately (long story) which is why my cigarette cravings have been so out of control. The e-cig COMPLETELY took care of my cravings for real cigarettes. Even the feeling of the inhale feels exactly like I remember from my days smoking analogs. It was so calming and comforting! I think this is exactly what I have been looking for. Yea!!! :D
 

blondeambition3

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I am a former smoker and when I smoked I LOVED smoking. I enjoyed the entire experience. The smell of the tobacco, the way the cigarette felt between my lips, the way the smoke tasted in my mouth, and the way it felt as I inhaled. At times it could be almost an erotic experience for me. But even though it brought me so much pleasure, I quit. I quit because I loved my husband (my boyfriend at the time) and I could see how sad it made him every time I lit up a cigarette. Then shortly after I quit, I became pregnant, and not wanting my baby to be exposed to my smoke I stayed smoke free. I am proud to say I have gone 16 years without a cigarette. It hasn't been easy at all though. There are times (especially when I'm under a lot of stress) that it is a daily battle to continue to say no to cigarettes. I WANT them! I WANT to smoke! I didn't want to quit. I did it because I felt it was the right thing to do. I still feel like I made the right choice. I don't regret it, but right now my cigarette cravings have got to the point that I came very close one day to buying a pack. I don't want to do that, I really don't. My father did that. He went for years and years without smoking then one day he finally gave in and now he is smoking close to a pack a day. My cousin recently told me about e-cigarettes. I was so excited at the thought of being able to smoke again. Because, the whole reason I quit was for the health and safety of the people I love. With the e-cigarette that's not an issue. My husband thinks I'm being stupid though. Am I alone? Are there any other people who have been smoke free but started using e-cigarettes?

Strawberry72 your story sounds so similar to mine!
I quit smoking over three years ago (and I'm so glad I did!).. but MAN did I love my cigs! (And even tho' I no longer physically crave them... I somehow still miss them! Add to that the 20 lbs. Weight gain, lack of energy and total depression since I quit!) The e-cigs have been my Salvation (I've got my energy back & the depression is gone!)... but!..... my adorable, supportive and loving Husband just doesn't seem to 'get' it and thinks somehow the e-cigs will somehow end up being just as costly and addictive.. or may even lead me to 'graduate' back into traditional cigarettes. To me, there's no chance of that as VAPING is so far superior to actual smoking. (See? I feel that strongly about it!.. maybe he's right?.. :rolleyes:)
 

Strawberry72

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Strawberry72 your story sounds so similar to mine!
I quit smoking over three years ago (and I'm so glad I did!).. but MAN did I love my cigs! (And even tho' I no longer physically crave them... I somehow still miss them! Add to that the 20 lbs. Weight gain, lack of energy and total depression since I quit!) The e-cigs have been my Salvation (I've got my energy back & the depression is gone!)... but!..... my adorable, supportive and loving Husband just doesn't seem to 'get' it and thinks somehow the e-cigs will somehow end up being just as costly and addictive.. or may even lead me to 'graduate' back into traditional cigarettes. To me, there's no chance of that as VAPING is so far superior to actual smoking. (See? I feel that strongly about it!.. maybe he's right?.. :rolleyes:)

Non smokers have a hard time understanding. :(
But I'm so happy with the e-cig, I just can't see myself going back to regular cigarettes. I don't have a reason to any more. I mean if you get the same kind of pleasure from an e-cig that doesn't have all that other bad stuff in it like analog cigs have.... Why would you? Maybe one day he'll understand.
 

68stang

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I have no doubt that you will be able to do it if that's what you want. Especially if you keep smoking your e-cigs. These things are great!! All the pleasure of smoking without all the other junk. :)

I know I can do it to! I have not smoked a "real cigarette" since I got my 510 a week ago, that is a MIRACLE and proves this stuff works. I am already smoking my 510 a whole lot les than I did a week ago. And I FEEL so much better, I breath better sleep better blah blah blah! E cigs saved ma life (and I LOVE the act of smoking which is probably what is making this change so easy. The patch and gum just didn't work!)
 

Rhaevyn

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This thread should be a must read!

Strawberry, I am so happy for you I am sitting here grinning to myself. I have tried to explain this to people myself and thought I was crazy. The posts about the psychological aspects of our addiction were such a great read as well.

I have tried to quit but something in me knew I didn't really want to. I loved smoking. I just really hated cigarettes. And now that I've quit (as of 10/3/2009) I can't believe how smokers smell! OMG did I really smell like that?

All I can say is good on ya, and hopefully hubby will see how much happier you are. I can totally understand his misgivings, but as has been stated, non-addicts will never be able to understand. Tell him he is a very lucky person.

Welcome to the fold girl!
 

Nanzee

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Strawberry,
I too want to join in wishing you all the luck in the world. And I want to thank you for reminding me how lucky I am with my Huggy-Bear... I thought he might think me stupid spending all this money on a gadget, especially with the miserable start I got off to...see the thread "Burned by an e-cig" ... Finally, rather than just creep around feeling defensive I just directly asked him. He said: " Well, look at you! You don't smoke all those cigars you buy and you had to have humidors and humidifiers...not just one either!" I looked at him like he'd gone nuts and he said "That is what you could have said to me, but you never have so why would I criticize you?"
Don't worry about the hubby figure ... he doesn't really think you are stupid...or nutty. He doesn't know what is what and he may surprise you by finding out and being then okay with this. Especially if it makes you easier to live with. LOL.
Best to you. N
 

Strawberry72

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Dec 21, 2009
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All you guys are so great! It's such a nice change to talk to people who understand my feelings about smoking. My family is trying to be understanding, but seeing me vape is freaking them out a little, because it LOOKS so much like smoking. My 15 year old had to be reassured several times by me AND her father, that it was not smoke that I was blowing out. Even then you could tell it was very uncomfortable for her to see it. I think I'm going to have her watch some youtube videos and read some of the information I've found about PVs. Maybe it will help to to be more ok about the situation.
 

Strawberry72

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Dec 21, 2009
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have her take a wiff of the "vapor" she should be able to tell just by that! And explain what vapor is..wait I am sure you did all that shutting up now lol

LOL, yes, I did. I think it's just going to take a little time for her to wrap her mind around it. I'm hoping the more info I give her the easier it will be for her to do that.
 

crashtestjeep

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Its unfortunate hes not that supportive but-thats what were here for ;)

Im sure in time he will "get it"....

Im with you on the loving smoking thing...I had to quit for health (lung) issues and have been lucky in the family supporting me side of things, I even converted my other half, my mom and all my close friends (and prob abt 100 strangers lol)

My DRs all support it and even tell other patients abt ecigs..Be patient tho, Im sure ur hubs will be more understanding as time goes on...:)
 

jghunter1

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I think that if vaping keeps you from going back to analogs than it's a good thing. DO stay off the nicotine though. Don't become an addict again! Keep in mind that we DON'T know if there are long term health effects from vaping BUT I still think it's WAY better than risking going back to analogs!

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just-cass

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Hi Strawberry!

I gave up smoking too for awhile...when i found out i was having my daughter(2 now) i gave up cigarettes for a year and found it no problem...there was no way i was gunna smoke then! but 2 weeks after i had her i had that awful craving again...i thought about them day and night and killed myself with the guilt of just wanting one...when she was 6 months old i started again im ashamed to say...i tried giving up so many times in the past 2 years for her sake(as i too love smoking!) and 4 months was the best i could do and even then had a few while out..

its only 3 weeks in now but i see a very bright future in my relationship with ecigs and am so happy to have this forum or i wouldnt have made it this far.

my daughter is sitting beside me now and when i look at her i no longer have the guilt factor of possibly getting sick when im older and putting her through that

also cigarettes gave me multiple chest infections every few months and every time i got sick it seemed she did too so im hoping in saving my health i will be saving hers too

long story short you have gone through tought times im sure with your battle to not buy those cigs(i knwow hat thats like!) andif you are beating yourself up about it ecigs might be a solution. your family should understand eventually that if it makes you happy and puts your mind at rest then it can only be a good thing...for a non smoker its hard to understand what its like to quit and stay quit even after so long

there are also lots who think ecigs are ridiculous(only recently ive come across a few) but they mostly dont understand about them fully



cass : o)
 

Viv Savage

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Strawberry,

I just read your post - and this thread - for the first time just now, and this was fascinating to me. I can't begin to compare my story to yours, as I can't imagine what it's like to have been smoke free for 16 years and still have cravings... but I do understand your love for the act of smoking. I quit smoking in September, and by some miracle, 9 days later, while I was losing my mind wanting a cigarette, I got an e-mail from a friend about these "electronic cigarettes". I, as I'm sure everyone here can relate to, immediately became obsessed with this device-I-had-always-dreamed-they'd-invent, and a week later ordered my first e-cig.

Now, I was still smoke free this entire time (I actually think the research and anticipation of buying an e-cig temporarily satisfied my cravings in some strange way), so when I finally made my purchase, having already been nicotine free for over two weeks, thought it would be stupid to put nicotine back in my body... so I only ordered zero nicotine cartridges. And I'm proud to say, three months later, I'm still only vaping zero nicotine! Not only that... most importantly, I haven't had a single urge to smoke a cigarette! So, I'm so glad to hear (1) that you went with zero nicotine, and (2) how happy you are :). If you enjoy the act of vaping as much as I do, I trust that you too will be able to continue to enjoy it without the nicotine.

I also have to say that your story - and everyone else's comments, especially NanoVapor and Mister's very interesting posts - have really affected me in that it really got me thinking about my own behavior. When I set out to buy my e-cig... and my zero nicotine cartridges... my plan was to have this amazing crutch to turn to whenever the cravings struck. Even if I stayed off of the cigarettes for months, I knew I would still have to battle all of those scenarios that trigger the desire (as we all do)... going to a bar, going to a party, playing poker, going to a concert, going to Vegas, a stressful situation, or just a cup of coffee... and in those difficult moments, I would then have this e-cig to turn to. But I honestly figured that once I got over the tobacco hump, my e-cig would basically sit in a drawer, and I would just grab it as a "backup" if I went out to any of those aforementioned activities.

Well, I basically vape every day... sometimes only a little... but more often than not, sporadically throughout the day. But never with nicotine. And lately I've been asking myself: Why, after 3 months am I still so into this? I mean, I'm just vaping flavored propylene glycol! At first, I figured it was a man and his new toy... I mean, hey, I'm a dude and we dudes love our gadgets! But after the first month, I was still vaping every day... and reading the forums every day, too. Then I learned about dipping and ordered bottles of all different kinds of flavors of juice... so now it's about trying new flavors! Then, last week, I won a huge new kit from Vapor4Life... and now I have a whole new e-cig to play with and cartomizers to try! And, if anything, I'm into it way more now than the day I took my first vape.

But, once again, still no nicotine. And I have to confess... it often makes me feel a little like an outsider in this forum. And don't get me wrong, those feelings only come from within myself... I have mentioned that I'm a "zero nicotine vaper" in many of my posts (mainly because I feel this guilty obligation to "confess" to it)... but no one - not one single forum member - has ever commented on it or made me feel like less of a vaper for it. But I guess this strange guilt stems from me feeling like I'm just "playing around" with my vaporizer, while others are using it as a legitimate alternative means to get their nicotine.

Wow, I really didn't intend to go off like that. But I think I just talked my way into discovering what I found so interesting about your story... and why it intrigues me so much. The fact that you still missed the act of smoking so much after 16 years makes me feel like my overwhelming desire to continue with this behavior - even without nicotine - is not so abnormal after all. And I don't feel so guilty - or like an oddball - for "hanging around" (virtually, that is) people who are genuinely fulfilling their need for nicotine. And I don't feel as alone. So I thank you for that. :)

I sincerely hope you continue to enjoy your non-nicotine vaping experience, that it provides you with all of the satisfaction you need, and that you are ultimately happy! :)
 
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