I cant post a link but if you want a good laugh Google Texas Chili Cook Off (Humor)
Mini Juice Giveaway And Some Ranting
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I'm a totally hopeless joke teller. There's only one joke I even remember - have remembered it most of my life because I heard it as a teenager but didn't 'get' it for several years. (Yeah, I know, I'm slow.)
Why are women hopeless at judging distance??
Because they've been told all their life that this....
|<-------------------------------------------------------->|
...is eight inches.
(It works better in person, trust me.
)
Why are women hopeless at judging distance??
Because they've been told all their life that this....
|<-------------------------------------------------------->|
...is eight inches.
(It works better in person, trust me.
)
What do you call a man with no body and no nose?
Nobody knows....
Yes, I'm an Insidious Raccoon.
Nobody knows....
Yes, I'm an Insidious Raccoon.
What do say to a person with two black eyes?
Nothing, they were already told twice.
Nothing, they were already told twice.
OK I finally though of one that is clean...enough.
So a redneck after having his 13th kid and no more room on the mattress, decided enough was enough. So he went to see his doctor. He said "Doc me 'an my sis dun had too many kids. Is there anythin you can do fer me?" The Dr. said "Sure there is a procedure called a vasectomy. It is an out patient procedure and it will prevent you from having any more children." The redneck said "Sounds great but I ain't got no insurance so is it very 'spensive?" The Dr. said "Well yes, without insurance it can be kind of costly." So the redneck asked "Ain't there somethin' else I can do?" The Dr. thought a bit and said "There is one other option. Go home and drink a can of beer. Drop a quarter stick of dynamite in the can, light it, hold it up to your ear and count to 10." The skeptical redneck said "Doc I don't see how that cud werk but I reckon I cud give it a shot."
So the redneck went home, drank his beer, dropped in a quarter stick of dynamite, lit it and held it to his ear with his left hand. (This part works better in person) and began counting on his fingers...1...2...3...4...5...then he paused for a second, placed the beer can between his legs and resumed counting on his other hand.....6...7...8...9...
So a redneck after having his 13th kid and no more room on the mattress, decided enough was enough. So he went to see his doctor. He said "Doc me 'an my sis dun had too many kids. Is there anythin you can do fer me?" The Dr. said "Sure there is a procedure called a vasectomy. It is an out patient procedure and it will prevent you from having any more children." The redneck said "Sounds great but I ain't got no insurance so is it very 'spensive?" The Dr. said "Well yes, without insurance it can be kind of costly." So the redneck asked "Ain't there somethin' else I can do?" The Dr. thought a bit and said "There is one other option. Go home and drink a can of beer. Drop a quarter stick of dynamite in the can, light it, hold it up to your ear and count to 10." The skeptical redneck said "Doc I don't see how that cud werk but I reckon I cud give it a shot."
So the redneck went home, drank his beer, dropped in a quarter stick of dynamite, lit it and held it to his ear with his left hand. (This part works better in person) and began counting on his fingers...1...2...3...4...5...then he paused for a second, placed the beer can between his legs and resumed counting on his other hand.....6...7...8...9...
What's the last thing you hear before a redneck dies?
"Hey everybody, check this out!"
"Hey everybody, check this out!"
No that is waaaaayyy too proper for a redneck. It's more like "Hey Bubba, watch this!"
Trust me I live in Texas and have see these people first hand.
Why cant you hear a pterodactyl in the bathroom?
Because it has a silent pee!
Im a pretty new vaper, going on about 2months now, 1month and 25 day smoke free
Because it has a silent pee!
Im a pretty new vaper, going on about 2months now, 1month and 25 day smoke free
Hey!!!!! I resemble that remark
And the biggest thing you forgot..it starts with "Dude....hold mah beer!!!!"
I just wanted to share my similar story! I was chatting with a local lady in town who had kids I went to high school with. Well she has been really sick with broncchitis symptoms for a couples months now and quit vaping and went back to analogs because vaping was making things worse.
Well, I couldn't stand hearing someone go back to analogs because vaping was making a health issue worse! I narrowed it down to bad cheap china juice and by the end of our long conversation found out her vaping equipment was way less than ideal for her needs. She had purchased blindly like myself because we have no brick and mortars anywhere near us and you never run into a fellow vapor around here.
We decided before work today I would help her pick up an Ego which the gas station the next town over JUST started carrying and gave her a bunch of my menthol juices I'd received in sample packs, I'm not a menthol smoker/vaper and she is. I also gave her the run down on quality juices and bad juices and let her try the ones I normally vape. She had absolutely no throat irritation vaping the good stuff and she loved the Ego setup! I pointed her to some website for quality juice and it seems like she couldn't be happier to feel like she can ditch the nasty analogs again! Made me feel like a really good samaritan
Well, I couldn't stand hearing someone go back to analogs because vaping was making a health issue worse! I narrowed it down to bad cheap china juice and by the end of our long conversation found out her vaping equipment was way less than ideal for her needs. She had purchased blindly like myself because we have no brick and mortars anywhere near us and you never run into a fellow vapor around here.
We decided before work today I would help her pick up an Ego which the gas station the next town over JUST started carrying and gave her a bunch of my menthol juices I'd received in sample packs, I'm not a menthol smoker/vaper and she is. I also gave her the run down on quality juices and bad juices and let her try the ones I normally vape. She had absolutely no throat irritation vaping the good stuff and she loved the Ego setup! I pointed her to some website for quality juice and it seems like she couldn't be happier to feel like she can ditch the nasty analogs again! Made me feel like a really good samaritan
I just wanted to share my similar story! I was chatting with a local lady in town who had kids I went to high school with. Well she has been really sick with broncchitis symptoms for a couples months now and quit vaping and went back to analogs because vaping was making things worse.
Well, I couldn't stand hearing someone go back to analogs because vaping was making a health issue worse! I narrowed it down to bad cheap china juice and by the end of our long conversation found out her vaping equipment was way less than ideal for her needs. She had purchased blindly like myself because we have no brick and mortars anywhere near us and you never run into a fellow vapor around here.
We decided before work today I would help her pick up an Ego which the gas station the next town over JUST started carrying and gave her a bunch of my menthol juices I'd received in sample packs, I'm not a menthol smoker/vaper and she is. I also gave her the run down on quality juices and bad juices and let her try the ones I normally vape. She had absolutely no throat irritation vaping the good stuff and she loved the Ego setup! I pointed her to some website for quality juice and it seems like she couldn't be happier to feel like she can ditch the nasty analogs again! Made me feel like a really good samaritan
Thats awesome of you! Glad to hear it!
Hahaha, saw some pretty good ones I'll post the winner's name on here at approx 12 and PM them
Your all great sports, and I wish I had enough stuff to give all of you!
by the way, some of you should quit your jobs and get new jobs as comedians! Loved it!
I'll post the winner's name on here at approx 12 and PM themYour all great sports, and I wish I had enough stuff to give all of you!
by the way, some of you should quit your jobs and get new jobs as comedians! Loved it!
And the winner is: Barbara21
Congatulations!!
To the rest of you, you all did a great job, it was seriously really hard to pick a winner, I took all the names of the ones I really liked (about 10 of them) and used Random.org to choose the winner (Yeah I know that place is rigged, but I do what I can w/ what I've got)
Anyways, Thank you all for participating, I wish you all the best of luck in your vaping futures, and If I come up with more stuff, I'll have another one of these!
To Barbara21: I will PM right now, you'll have 24 hours to respond or I'll be forced to choose the runner up.
Thank you for playing,
HAPPY VAPING!!
Congatulations!!
To the rest of you, you all did a great job, it was seriously really hard to pick a winner, I took all the names of the ones I really liked (about 10 of them) and used Random.org to choose the winner (Yeah I know that place is rigged, but I do what I can w/ what I've got)
Anyways, Thank you all for participating, I wish you all the best of luck in your vaping futures, and If I come up with more stuff, I'll have another one of these!
To Barbara21: I will PM right now, you'll have 24 hours to respond or I'll be forced to choose the runner up.
Thank you for playing,
HAPPY VAPING!!
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