Keeping it a secret

[secret]

Hi All,
Just wanted to introduce myself. I've been vape-ing in secret for about 6 months. I used to smoke analog before I met my boyfriend. I didn't smoke for long, only about 2 years.

Lately life has been stressful, and I had considered starting smoking again but thought it would be impossible because my boyfriend would not be ok with it. I'm 35 years old and I think it is my choice to smoke or not to smoke.

I know this sounds crazy. Get a new boyfriend, right? Maybe this will happen someday, but he has been amazing, and I don't want to screw things up with him. I have found that I enjoy having something that is only for me to know.... Also, keeping this a secret is for now, my best option.

I chose to vape. I found I can keep it a secret easily by buying mistic ecigs at the local walmart. I vape in the bathroom, in my car and when I'm at home alone. The stress relief has been a huge help. Knowing that there is something I can do to take my stress level down is in istelf, a huge stress relief

The drawback is that I can't buy online. Haveing ecigs shipped to my home is just not an option.

Does anyone else vape in secret? Am I alone in this? Is there anyone that has revealed their secret to loved ones, and if so, what was the outcome?

Please don't judge I know this might sound a little nuts. Everyone has life situations that are complex.

 

[NancyR]

Welcome to ECF

While I am not a fan of keeping secrets, that part I am going to stay out of. However, as far as not being able to have it shipped to the house, have you thought of some of the mailbox places. Most of them can give you an address not just a PO Box number and most of the US suppliers can ship via USPS anyways so even a PO Box would work.

Doing that would open things up for you allowing better juice and or anything else you need without it going to the house.

 

[dhdonline1]

I vaped totally in secret for a little while. I was nervous revealing this to people for some reason!! I couldn't keep this from my fiancé, and told her. She was happy and supportive that I chose this route rather than another. She has actually started vaping on occasion too, and enjoys it a lot!! I still have not told my family or coworkers and I intend to keep it that way. I won't comment on 'keeping secrets' because everybodys situation is their own!

I will agree on the restriction you have put on yourself though. Not being able to order online has really put a damper on your vaping experience! There is a huge wonderful world of gear and juice to explore!

 

[Iffy]

1) Does anyone else vape in secret? I don't

2) Am I alone in this? Probably not

3) Is there anyone that has revealed their secret to loved ones, and if so, what was the outcome? See #1

Please don't judge... Everyone has life situations that are complex

Not judging, just a few observations...

You're causing mucho additional stress on yourself by not telling him! Can you imagine the relief if you told him and your vaping was OK with him?!?!?

Have you wondered what secrets he might have that could affect your relationship? Goose, gander...

You're only making your own life situation more complex!

Good luck!

 

[KDude]

Sit him down and make a confession about ecigs. If you want to call it a confession. Tell him your story of smoking before you met him. Tell him how this is helping, in times of stress, and it's something you need (not just want). I'm the same age as you. If he can't be an adult about it, then that's a bigger problem than vaping. Having a boyfriend is cool. Having a parent/nanny/school principal/cop is not. There shouldn't be secrets here. If anything, this should be a reason to get a pat on the back. Vaping is a good thing.

 

[Baptyzmbyf1re]

Sit him down and make a confession about ecigs. If you want to call it a confession. Tell him your story of smoking before you met him. Tell him how this is helping, in times of stress, and it's something you need (not just want). I'm the same age as you. If he can't be an adult about it, then that's a bigger problem than vaping. Having a boyfriend is cool. Having a parent/nanny/school principal/cop is not. There shouldn't be secrets here. If anything, this should be a reason to get a pat on the back. Vaping is a good thing.

Ditto. I also happen to be 35 and I can tell you that I would be devastated if someone kept something from me. It might even hurt/surprise him now. But, what if you wait another two years? If he's been "amazing" and worth it, he should be supportive. You might be surprised just how supportive he could be. Especially since there are no ashtrays, smoke smell, etc. with vaping.

You said you enjoy having a secret only you know? Does that mean you are getting more enjoyment out of hiding the vaping than the vaping itself? If not, wouldn't it be great to just be able to do it when you want?

Good luck to you.

 

[Vapoor eyes er]

Lately life has been stressful, and I had considered starting smoking again but thought it would be impossible because my boyfriend would not be ok with it.

Also not judging but I'd say come clean with him and relieve yourself of the unneeded stress. It just depends on whether or not he's open minded enuff to accept the fact that you're trying to quit smoking by way of an unorthodox but highly successful method.

I'm 35 years old and I think it is my choice to smoke or not to smoke.

First and foremost I quit smoking and began vaping for myself. Wife and family were also a reason but not the # 1 reason.

The drawback is that I can't buy online. Haveing ecigs shipped to my home is just not an option.

As mentioned postal box is an alternative but if you're bf was accepting and understanding in regards to your vaping he may want to help you with ordering online.
I have a friend/ 40 yrs old and he quit smoking by way of vaping 3 1/2 months ago. Family was completely against it offering no support whatsoever. 2 weeks ago he had his 40th birthday and lo and behold the family got together with me and ordered him a whole bunch of vaping goodies including a Provari. They now understand and believe that vaping is a viable and successful alternative to traditional smoking cessation methods and are sincerely grateful and supportive. I don't know your BF but I really can't see him breaking up over something so silly...now if you were smoking that's another story
Good Luck.

 

[Fyre904]

Could always look into brick / mortar stores in or near your area. Check also smoke shops some will carry ecigs also maybe if your lucky even more than that.
I have found most are more open minded about vaping especially if they know a little about it. My fiance used to complain I didn't quit smoking after she did and couldn't stand the smell of smoke. So when I tried a few disposables around her she was not bothered by them and I moved up to a starter kit and bottled juices and she is pleased with this compromise. I can even smoke in the car again lol

 

[Kay1959]

Well, there's one thing for sure. Eventually he WILL find out. Whether he finds out from you, or finds your stuff is the question. I think I'd rather find out from the person, opposed to finding out for myself...if he finds out by himself, he's apt to not take it very well. What is a relationship without honestly and truthfullness? You could lose a good guy! If you tell him, and he has a problem with it, you can always vape when he's not around, but atleast you won't have that hanging over your head.

 

[DevilMachine]

i can't relate at all, sorry. i vape in front of everyone i know, and i even vape in my office at work. no one has issues with it, or at least they haven't told me otherwise, whereas, when i smoked analogs, they would let me know pretty quick if i was disturbing them. if this is a big enough part of your life that you're dedicating all this effort at secrecy to it, i think you'll be better served to just be up front about it. i think you'll find most people are pretty cool with vaping once they understand it.

 

[Screwbag]

I've often thought that vaping would be excellent for those that wanna be a closet smoker. No bad smells, or tastes when kissing.
As to shipping, ship to a friends house or something if you insist on keeping a secret. But in the long run, secrets have a tendency to bite ya in the behind....just my two cents...

But it's not like you are hiding a crack habit, or you are secretly a bank robbing bigamist with another family in a different town under an assumed name....lol

 

[Vapoor eyes er]

Some reputable bric and mortar stores near Chicago:
Cignot ® Retail Locations
Smokeless Vaping Lounge | Vapor4Life
https://www.cigtechs.com/crm.asp?action=contactus

 

[sailorman]

Not to judge either, but I gotta tell you, if this is a new bf then, for him, you're a new gf. I can't imagine letting something like vaping be an issue or cause me to reject a new gf. That just strikes me as petty, superficial and borderline insane. Maybe I'm just more tolerant than some, or maybe it just comes with age, but it's such a superficial thing that keeping it a secret is way worse. I would be FAR more hurt that my new gf thought she had to keep it a secret than I would that she did it in the first place. What kind of judgmental and sanctimonious ahole does she take me for anyway? That would be my first thought.

The longer you keep this "secret", the worse it's going to be when he finds out. And, he WILL find out, sooner or later. If he lets it ruin your relationship, then he isn't worth keeping in the first place and it's better to find out now than later when he can use it for a pretense.

You're a grown woman. If he can't deal with you acting like it, that's his problem. It would take a rare example of an .... retentive control freak to let an innocuous thing like vaping destroy a new relationship. Let him know while the newness of your relationship still gives you an excuse for hiding it as long as you have so far. It'll be a helluva lot harder in 6 months or a year when he either finds out or you finally tell him.

 

[blue_skies]

heck, i don't give a darn what anyone thinks! everything that is put out into the open becomes less scary to all involved. truth lives and prevails every...single...time.

 

[HawkeyeFLA]

Your profile says Chicago. Don't know if you're city or suburbs, but I think it's Vapors4Life that has a B&M store in one of the westernish suburbs. Somewhere on here is a link to a website that lets you search for stores by geography. I forgot to BM it, but I'm sure others have it in their browser.

As for mail order ... can you have things delivered to work?

 

[Bullette the Cowdog]

"In my youth it was a way I had
To change to suit each passing lad
But now I know the things I know
And do the things I do
And if you do not like me so
To hell my love with you. "
-Dorothy Parker

"vape on"
-Bullette the Cowdog