Three rights make a left--

[YOPP!]

So, you woke up this morning and your world appeared without color. Greyness permeates your being and crushes your soul all the days of your life, right? Before you go running to your family physician, ask yourself this question... Am I right-handed? IF the answer is a resounding "yes", don't even bother making an appointment. There's not much that can be done about your poor, miserable existence. Let's take a look at how you right-handed people differ from your south-paw cousins, shall we?

Memory:
Left Handed- Photographic Memory
Right Handed- Photographic Memory (when in possession of a camera phone)

Physical Prowess:
Left Handed- Steve Young
Right Handed- Urkel

Creative Thought:
Left Handed- Bombarded by creative flourishes, constantly trying to decide which truly creative idea to hold on to and which ones to let go because there are just too many.
Right Handed- I like crayons!!!

Brain:
Left Handed- Moves at the speed of light.
Right Handed- Moves like pond water.

Musical Talents:
Left Handed- Jimi Hendrix
Right Handed- Vanilla Ice

Problem Solving:
Left Handed- Quickly explores all possible solutions, very decisive, implements plan that creates an environment of working smarter, not harder.
Right Handed- Calls left handed friend on cell and asks their opinion, gets advice, proceeds with caution.

Mechanical:
Left Handed- Disassembly/assembly of complicated or challenging objects comes as second nature.
Right Handed- Light bulb- Lefty loosy, righty tighty.

If we were compared to a Movie:
Left Handed- "Good Will Hunting"
Right Handed- "Forrest Gump"


A few people who were fortunate enough to be Left Handed:
David Letterman
General H. Norman Schwarzkopf
Jack-the-Ripper
H.G. Wells
Kurt Cobain
Paul McCartney
M.C. Escher
Leonardo da Vinci
Tom Cruise
Matt Dillon
Robert DeNiro
Angelina Jolie
Mickey Rourke
Bruce Willis

A final note:
In a study done in the 80's, it was found that the left-handed average age of death was 66; right-handed average age was 75.
I attribute this to two things: First, the light that burns twice as bright, burns half as long. Second, and more importantly, us left handed people can't wait to get the hell away from all of you right handers that have created a world to suit yourselves. You continue to poison our very existence until the day we die.

YOPP!

 

[THE]

You know
This got me thinking
I've never had a left handed woman
I wonder if they ..

Okay okay shut up your keys

Anyway

Just my Northpaw brain "hard" at work ...

Why do they call lefties a Southpaw anyway?
That implies that human beings are naturally standing looking to the west

Is that a big California superiority thing?
LOL

Never mind . . . I'm loaded

 

[THE]

How many women do you have to have, statistically, before you end up keeping company with a lefty ... anyway?

 

[Steel]

You know


Why do they call lefties a Southpaw anyway?

Baseball..

 

[thelook]

I can write, play tennis and bat with either hand, what does that make me?

I can not paint with my left hand though...go figure

 

[beebopnjazz]

7 to 10% of the population is left-handed.

Frequently ambidextrous - probably out of necessity. Living in a right-handed world takes some getting used to - perhaps that's the reason for an earlier demise?

Inappropriate questions asked of a left-handed woman may result in a strong right uppercut which you won't see coming

 

[beebopnjazz]

Talented!

I can write, play tennis and bat with either hand, what does that make me?

 

[thelook]

Talented!

I should add, I don't do these things well, no matter what hand I use! LOL

 

[thelook]

7 to 10% of the population is left-handed.

Frequently ambidextrous - probably out of necessity. Living in a right-handed world takes some getting used to - perhaps that's the reason for an earlier demise?

Inappropriate questions asked of a left-handed woman may result in a strong right uppercut which you won't see coming

just one more reason I love beebop!!!

 

[YOPP!]

Write left-handed, golf right-handed, paint left-handed, bowl left-handed, baseball: swing-right handed, throw left-handed, shoot pistol right-handed or left handed, shoot rifle right-handed (tried it left handed and ended up with hot brass down my collar, never again) use mouse right handed.

 

[beebopnjazz]

Write left-handed, bowl left-handed, bat right-handed, cut left-handed, paint with both hands, play guitar right-handed (learned on a right-handed guitar) - mouse right-handed, throw right-handed (most of the time), brush my hair right-handed, but brush my teeth left-handed (go figure) -

Oh! and then there's that right upper-cut!

Write left-handed, golf right-handed, paint left-handed, bowl left-handed, baseball: swing-right handed, throw left-handed, shoot pistol right-handed or left handed, shoot rifle right-handed (tried it left handed and ended up with hot brass down my collar, never again) use mouse right handed.

 

[YOPP!]

Cut, like with scissors? I forgot about that one. I cut right handed. My parents never bought LH scissors, even though my mother is LH also.

Of our 4 children, Two RH's, one LH, and the 4 year old is confusing the heck out of us. He uses both hands to do EVERYTHING. He will even hold a pencil in each hand when he is drawing, switching back and forth. Also, my wife is a lefty.

Write left-handed, bowl left-handed, bat right-handed, cut left-handed, paint with both hands, play guitar right-handed (learned on a right-handed guitar) - mouse right-handed, throw right-handed (most of the time), brush my hair right-handed, but brush my teeth left-handed (go figure) -

Oh! and then there's that right upper-cut!

 

[beebopnjazz]

Yes, with scissors. My son is a lefty- my daughter a righty. For the longest time we had ONLY lefty scissors in the house - I hadn't really thought about til one day my DH complained about it

I cannot use right-handed scissors - at all. The handles bruise the base of my thumb (left). I cannot cut with my right hand. Since we are a "mixed' household we use the scissors Fiskars makes where you squeeze the handle and the blades close (hmmmm...that's not that accurate description is it as that's how regular scissors work)......do you know which ones I'm talking about? The small ones are more like squeezing the handle of a pair of pliers. No "rings" for your fingers.