Can't focus on one girl

[gashin]

I'm 23 years old and can't establish a close relationship with the opposite sex anymore because I keep being distracted by new girls/different girls at the point when I'm just about to get close with one.... this always happens and I always end up messing up my chances with one girl because they see me flirting with others... when I was younger I couid easily fall in love with one girl and go out steadily with them but since then I'm finding it impossible... is this normal?

I just realized this was a problem a few days ago when I was eating with this girl I've been interested in for a while with a couple other girls one of which was cuter and I ended up talking to that new chick more than the one I liked and I could tell she got mad . I realized that I've done this a lot recently and just can't control it.

 

[nicotime]

Welcome to manhood!!

 

[sizemore2000]

Don't look at it as a problem. You are young. Just realize you are not ready to settle down yet, and let the girl know you are just dating. Don't commit to a long term relationship until you know that you are sure. And it doesn't sound like you are sure right now. You'll eventually find that one girl that you can't take your mind off of, and the other girls won't be as tempting. And when that happens, honor your word to her, by staying faithful. That's my 2 cents. LOL!

 

[notsoogood]

Welcome to manhood!!

Leave it to you Nico!!!

Yeah, gotta agree with Sizemore........just be honest cause it's obvious you aren't ready to settle down.

 

[whiskey]

Looks like we'll all come over & pick on this poor,poor guy Huh???
Play the field as long as you can get away with it gashin..but there is nothing worse
than the wrath of a woman..........

Especially if shes got a whip.....

 

[kristin]

Actually, it could be more like you ARE ready to settle down and that's when uncertainty kicks in. You're not playing anymore, so it's harder to fall "in love" because it's more serious. How do you choose? How do you know you've made the right choice? You are looking for the right girl and after a short time, instinct kicks in and tells you, "Nope, this isn't the right one. Keep looking."

My husband was 23 when we met. (I was 36.) He was doing the same thing as you are. But when we met, he just knew. He was quite persistant! I thought he was crazy! LOL!

The important thing is that you don't lead anyone on after you know that she's not "the one." That always creeped me out - using women as "Ms. Right Now" just to keep getting sex until "Ms. Right" comes along. Ewww. A real man doesn't do that, out of respect, IMO.

Anyhow, just a theory to consider.

 

[uba egar320]

I have to agree with everyone else. What would be really bad is if you went against your better judgment and progressed into a serious relationship(moving in with each other, possibly having a child) and then messing up with another girl.

 

[bassnut]

I just realized this was a problem a few days ago when I was eating with this girl I've been interested in for a while with a couple other girls one of which was cuter and I ended up talking to that new chick more than the one I liked and I could tell she got mad . I realized that I've done this a lot recently and just can't control it.

This is a problem, as you've said. Congratulations on that point because it shows some awareness and caring.
If you're out with a women you're with her even if she's just a friend.
To be flirting with somebody else in her presence shows bad form in the extreme. It's hurtful and degrading.
You can take the "I'm not responsible for other people's feelings " attitude but it doesn't speak well of you as a man.

 

[classwife]

Too many people these days think a date is a commitment. Relax, you will probably know when love hits you over the head !!

 

[J-ShaZzle]

Enjoy it. I met my gf when I was 23. I had the best...I mean the best years of chasing women from 21-23. Then I just decided enough was enough. Had my eye on a coworker for a little bit and finally got her number...now were about to hit our 1 year and I couldn't be happier.

Have fun while you can. Life is to short and to serious to be worried about it. You'll find someone that will knock you off your feet. Pretty much someone that will be your best friend for the rest of your life.

 

[whiskey]

This is a problem, as you've said. Congratulations on that point because it shows some awareness and caring.
If you're out with a women you're with her even if she's just a friend.
To be flirting with somebody else in her presence shows bad form in the extreme. It's hurtful and degrading.
You can take the "I'm not responsible for other people's feelings " attitude but it doesn't speak well of you as a man.

What a refreshing change to hear this...now thats a MAN...thanks for your post Bassnut...you are very considerate to women it sounds

 

[jwquantrell]

I'm 23 years old and can't establish a close relationship with the opposite sex anymore because I keep being distracted by new girls/different girls at the point when I'm just about to get close with one.... this always happens and I always end up messing up my chances with one girl because they see me flirting with others... when I was younger I couid easily fall in love with one girl and go out steadily with them but since then I'm finding it impossible... is this normal?

I just realized this was a problem a few days ago when I was eating with this girl I've been interested in for a while with a couple other girls one of which was cuter and I ended up talking to that new chick more than the one I liked and I could tell she got mad . I realized that I've done this a lot recently and just can't control it.

Dude, you are 23. You should play the field all that you can imho. You are only young once and there is no reason that you should settle down as young as you are. You will know when you find the one that is right for you, but until that happens just enjoy yourself.

Regards
Jim

 

[THE]

I'm 23 years old and can't establish a close relationship with the opposite sex anymore because I keep being distracted by new girls/different girls at the point when I'm just about to get close with one.... this always happens and I always end up messing up my chances with one girl because they see me flirting with others... when I was younger I couid easily fall in love with one girl and go out steadily with them but since then I'm finding it impossible... is this normal?

I just realized this was a problem a few days ago when I was eating with this girl I've been interested in for a while with a couple other girls one of which was cuter and I ended up talking to that new chick more than the one I liked and I could tell she got mad . I realized that I've done this a lot recently and just can't control it.

I've never been the type who has to have more than one at one time. It's worked out that way a few times, but I've never "cheated".

I think that, now, if I ever take a wife we'll definitely also have a housegirl. Having a new or exotic woman pleasure you now and then is a nice thing for a man (and even for some women).

You're supposed to "settle down" as you get older... not the other way around. LoL over here. Do not feel bad. Now that I'm older, I've suddenly developed an attraction for thin young women (I always enjoyed older women with more meat on them).

I guess that happens to other men, too.

Women can be jealous.. and you don't ever want to find out what they're ultimately capable of... A couple of mine wanted to murder eachother last year.. I ended up in a love triangle thing and it wasn't my fault AT ALL

Sigh

What can you do
If you don't want to settle down just have some (safe) casual sex for a few more years. If you feel like settling down, then, do it. Don't EVER try to settle down if it is not in your nature.

If you HAVE TO have variety but also want a wife, look for a woman who is bisexual!! Some (definitely not all!!!) of them are more than fine with you enjoying other women from time to time. A couple of ladies I am considering both are and either one would not mind at all me having a housegirl living with us.

Don't EVER end up in a situation where you feel "tied down".
It may sound corny but "real love" will never make you feel that way.
When I loved the two I've loved I never even thought about cheating on them.

 

[THE]

Actually, it could be more like you ARE ready to settle down and that's when uncertainty kicks in. You're not playing anymore, so it's harder to fall "in love" because it's more serious. How do you choose? How do you know you've made the right choice? You are looking for the right girl and after a short time, instinct kicks in and tells you, "Nope, this isn't the right one. Keep looking."

My husband was 23 when we met. (I was 36.) He was doing the same thing as you are. But when we met, he just knew. He was quite persistant! I thought he was crazy! LOL!

The important thing is that you don't lead anyone on after you know that she's not "the one." That always creeped me out - using women as "Ms. Right Now" just to keep getting sex until "Ms. Right" comes along. Ewww. A real man doesn't do that, out of respect, IMO.

Anyhow, just a theory to consider.

That is how I was when I met the two I loved... I just KNEW as soon as I saw their eyes and their smiles. They had me right there. It was a number of years in between the two, of course. There is a third, now ...

I can't stand men who lead women on in order to "get sex"
That's just such a horrible thing to do
Why do that when there are plenty of women out there who will appreciate sex

 

[THE]

This is a problem, as you've said. Congratulations on that point because it shows some awareness and caring.
If you're out with a women you're with her even if she's just a friend.
To be flirting with somebody else in her presence shows bad form in the extreme. It's hurtful and degrading.
You can take the "I'm not responsible for other people's feelings " attitude but it doesn't speak well of you as a man.

That's a good point
You should never flirt with other women when you're with one. Acknowledge them, sure, but flirting is just outright rude.

You can't be a PERFECT gentleman all of the time, though, because deep in a womans soul she'll lose attraction for you if you are. I've seen it so many times. I was even guilty of it with the last one.

I got too sweet, too loving ... too easy
BLAM she lost it for me and that was it

 

[THE]

I'm sure alot of people won't agree with me.. but it just isn't in some mens natures to "settle down". Most men, actually. But in todays society they learn that to fulfill their nature they've got to lie and cheat and mislead.. it's the exact opposite of that.. if you want to with a woman and you're upfront about it, a-lot of times they'll choose you to with

And you don't have to let one woman lock your down FOREVER in order to have a wife to love. If you're not okay with your being locked down FOREVER find yourself a woman who understands that sexual pleasure and love aren't the same things. They're out there.

I'd be very capable of allowing my to be locked up for life IF I could find a LOYAL TRUSTWORTHY LOVING woman. I've been willing to do it, twice. To me, a man with a good woman at home is a wealthy man. I'd rather have a good loving wife than my choice of 100 women every day.

I doubt I'll take a wife at all now or allow a woman to lock my down at all, now. There's ONE woman out there I'd do that for (and she wouldn't even lock it down, she's very sexually free) but honestly and frankly.. I'm not good enough for HER. I know of no other woman on earth I can say that about.

I mean hell I can't run ten miles a day, my parents don't make a fortune, I have my habits, my body compared to fit toned 5'3/120 with huge chest and bubble .... is like comparing a pinto to a bentley ... I'm out of shape, not very healthy and I just can't keep up with her.


Is LOVE worth killing myself to get into shape and never drinking again... YES ... Can I do it? Yeah, I can do anything.... will I do it HERE .. Eh, well I don't know
I should



I need to learn to love MONEY like I use to. MONEY never betrayed me or betrayed my trust. It kept me warm and cool and fed and healthy and safe.



Never mind I'm just rambling
Time to shut up my keys

 

[kgeiger002]

I'm 23 years old and can't establish a close relationship with the opposite sex anymore because I keep being distracted by new girls/different girls at the point when I'm just about to get close with one.... this always happens and I always end up messing up my chances with one girl because they see me flirting with others... when I was younger I couid easily fall in love with one girl and go out steadily with them but since then I'm finding it impossible... is this normal?

I just realized this was a problem a few days ago when I was eating with this girl I've been interested in for a while with a couple other girls one of which was cuter and I ended up talking to that new chick more than the one I liked and I could tell she got mad . I realized that I've done this a lot recently and just can't control it.

ahh OK - huh?